A Promise Kept
by BwayBound
Summary: When 19 year old Winnie Porter boards the titanic, she meets a certain officer that shows her true love is ever lasting; but when the ship sinks, taking their new found love with it, will their "ever-lasting love" really carry on 100 years later?
1. Chapter One: Memories

"…_And the prince and princess lived happily ever after. The end" My mother placed to book on my nightstand, and stood up straightening out her dress._

"_Mama? Do you believe that love is real?" I looked up at my mother with my big brown eyes as she began to tuck me into bed. _

"_Of course sweetie. Look at me and your father." My mother kept her focus on my sheets rather than looking at me. "Now, you've brushed your teeth, said your prayers, AND got a bedtime story. Now it is time to be a good girl and go to sleep." My mother had quickly ended the conversation of love. _

"_Do you think I will ever find love mama?" I pressed. My mother stopped fussing with my sheets and looked me deep in the eye. _

"_Winifred. Love is a gift. It is rare to find. And it must be cherished when it is possessed. " She leaned in and kissed the top of my forehead. "Now you really must go to sleep."_

"_Goodnight mama. I love you"_

_My mother looked at me smiled before turning for the door. I shut my eyes and snuggled into the sheets, and just before my mother left, she turned and whispered "Goodnight my angel." _

I opened my eyes and quickly shut them as the sun glared down on me. It was April 9th, and I was leaving tomorrow on the Titanic, to see my mother in America for the first time since I was ten. As I lay in bed I quickly reviewed what my dream was about. I thought back to when I was six years old, living in London with my mother and father. They were so much in love, always laughing and playing, even though it wasn't a decent display in public, but it always gave me hope.

Shortly after, my father passed away, taking my mothers' happiness with him. She never was the same. He left our family with just enough money for mother to keep up our status. Just as mother was skimming the bottom of the barrel with money she met husband number 2. He was wealthy of course, and somewhat older. I always assumed that his wife had died young, and he was looking for another trophy. They were married for about a year until one day he never came back home.

When I was nine years old my mother left London to be with husband number three in America. I was left to stay in the care of my mother's sister while she freely explored another country leaving her, what I thought to be at the time, "mistake" back home.

Up until a week ago I haven't heard from my mother. I didn't know if she was still alive, or if she had other children, or if she was still with husband number three. It was ten years later, and I just finished celebrating my 19th birthday, when I got a letter in the mail from my mother. She was requesting my presence in America to help celebrate her ten year wedding anniversary. I guess it would be something to celebrate, seeing that none of my mother's relationships lasted longer than a full decade. I always thought that maybe my mother was looking for the love that she shared with my father. I never quite knew. The only thing I knew for certain was that my mother was no role model for love; and at this point in my life, I was positive it didn't even exist.

X

By this point I was just about finished packing my belongings into my trunks. My aunt insisted that I attend this anniversary, hoping that it might serve as some reconciliation for me and my mother. I didn't see the point but my aunt persisted. I honestly didn't know what I was going to say or what I was going to do when I saw her. For Christ sake, I didn't even know if I would recognize her, it had been so long.

As the day moved on I couldn't help shake the feeling of seeing my mother again. It was making me nervous and jittery. I couldn't keep any food down, nor could I sit in one place.

"Winnie, will you stop moving around like that. You are beginning to make me nervous!" my aunt joked to me. My aunt was a loving woman who took me in as one of her own. She didn't support my mothers' decision to leave me, but she did support the thought of forgiveness, which is something she stood firmly by.

"I just can't believe that in one weeks time I will be standing in her house, facing her, talking to her." I raised an octave with each passing thought. "What in God's name am I supposed to even say to her? Huh?" I looked at my aunt with a pained yet questioning look on my face. "Hello mother. It's been so long…literally!" I paced back and forth through my living room as my aunt just sat there working on her needle point.

"Get it out now sweetheart." My aunt retorted very monotone, not taking her eyes off her stitch. "God help me if tomorrow doesn't come any sooner…" She said sounding exasperated, and adding a subtle eye-roll.

I stopped mid pace, let out a long breath, and looked at my aunt. "I'm going to bed."

"Good. Any more of this pacing and I would have had a trench in my living room." My aunt chuckled to herself, still not removing her eyes from her work.

"Ugh!" I turned on my heel and marched upstairs to my bedroom. I quickly undressed and lay in bed waiting for sleep to overcome. But instead of the sleep I had hoped for, something else took over. An overwhelming sense of emotion, and before I knew it, tears were falling down my face. My mother's sudden return into my life had seriously affected me in a way I never thought possible. I turned on my side, and wept quietly into my pillow, until darkness overtook me.


	2. Chapter Two: Southampton

I stood on the dock with my bags still in the car. My aunt had wished me a goodbye back at the place I called home for the last ten years. I tilted my head back, looking up at Titanic and all its glory. It was hard to see through my wide brimmed hat that my aunt insisted I wear. I was wearing a "boarding outfit" as my aunt liked to call it. It is a long cream colored skirt with light blue embroidery on the bottom. I was wearing a white lace bodice, with a cream colored jacket to match. The jacket sleeves were also decorated with this beautiful blue design. My long dark wavy hair was pinned up underneath my hat in a nice clean bun. My hat was large, and cream as well, with a large blue bow wrapping around it. My white gloves were in place, as was my walking stick, which seemed necessary to only my aunt. I closed my eyes briefly taking in everything.

"_You must act proper Winnie. You are going in first class, and manners are expected to be upheld. Be the young woman I raised you to be. If you're not going there to please your mother, than go there to please me. Show her and show everyone the outstanding woman you have become. Make me proud angle-."_

"Excuse me miss." I snapped my eyes open, taking myself away from the last words exchanged between my aunt and myself. I turned to look at the young gentleman standing before me. He was handsome alright. He had light brown hair and soft brown eyes that glittered in the sun. His smile was genuine, which made him warm and pleasant to be around.

"Yes, sorry. I was just trying to take all this in. It's very…overwhelming." I felt that term was only suitable. I watched as he tried to conceal a smirk under his officer's hat.

"Yes. I guess you could say its…overwhelming." He succumbed to his chuckle. "Yes I know what you mean. It does take a lot to get used to." He smiled that genuine looking smile of his again. "I'm sorry for being so rude. Sixth Officer James Paul Moody at your service Miss-"

"Porter. Winifred Porter." I placed my hand in his awaiting one, and he gently lifted it to his lips, placing a small all too quick kiss on my hand.

"Well Miss Porter, it is a pleasure to have met you." He grinned at me, as I looked up at him through my dark lashes. "Now I hear you are in need of some assistance with your bags?" He asked looking around at all the luggage I was bringing.

"Yes. If you would be as so kind." I smiled at him. He picked up my trunk and started off in front of me, headed towards what I could only assume was the first class gangway. I ascended the gangplank still in tow looking all around me, as the hustle and bustle of Southampton gathered to watch the departure of the world's largest ship sail off. My eyes kept falling back to the handsome man in front of me. I knew nothing would ever happen between the two of us, but the thought was taking my mind to places it had never gone before. It was all very exciting.

"Miss Porter? Miss Porter?"

I was suddenly pulled back to the present, as he gently shook my arm, snapping me out of my pleasant thoughts. I took in a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. I didn't even realize I've been holding my breath.

"Yes?" I asked trying to regain some semblance of composure.

"Crew just needs to see your boarding pass. I do need to know where to take you, you know." A small smirk etched on those lips of his.

"Yes. Sorry. It's right here in my bag." I reached in my purse, as my face tinted a pale pink. I handed over my pass to the crewman standing at the entrance to the ship. He quickly reviewed it, nodding his head to Officer Moody. "B-32" he said. The crewman turned is head to me, "Enjoy your stay Miss."

I nodded in his direction, as Moody turned on his heel and walked down the hall to the left. The hallways were beautifully decorated with red embroidered carpeting. The walls were a dark rich brown, with gold designs scattered neatly in an organized pattern. We walked almost towards the end of the hallway, until Moody stopped shortly. I was so focused on what was going on around me I nearly crashed into the back of him.

"Shit" I hissed under my breath. "I am so sorry Officer. I should really be looking where I'm going." I said, as the blush crept its way back onto my cheeks. "It's quite alright Miss. Besides it is I who should be apologizing to you. I shouldn't have stopped so suddenly." He said as the familiar smirk that I had grown accustomed to, etched its way onto that handsome face of his.

"Well Miss-"

"Please stop with all the formalities. Call me Winnie." I stated matter-of-factly.

"Well…Winnie." He smiled. "We are at your suit. Now I must be getting back to my rounds. We are due to set sail in 30 minutes time." I couldn't hide the disappointment on my face, but I smiled and nodded in his direction refusing eye contact.

"Well thank you for the assistance Officer. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Now now. If I must call you Winnie, you must call me Jamie." He flashed his bright smile at me, and I couldn't help but smile in return. "Alright…Jamie. I thank you for your help."

"Not a problem Winnie." He turned on his heel and started for the door. "Uh…Miss Por- I mean…Winnie?" I turned away from the sofa I had been walking too, and looked into his beautiful eyes. "Yes?" I couldn't keep the hopefulness from my voice, sounding like an all too eager child.

"I was just wondering…if I may…that is if you allow me too…have the privilege of seeing you again?" I could feel my cheeks heat up under his intense gaze, and my ability to keep steady even breaths began to fail me.

"Oh. Why yes. I would love too."

Jamie sighed with relief, and you could see him visibly relax. "Well. That is just great! Perhaps later this evening? Up on deck. I finish my shift at 9." His grin got wider in anticipation of my response, where it turned borderline, boyish. I myself couldn't help but feel giddy inside.

"Yes. I would love that. Perfect!" If possible you could see Jamie relax even more. He clapped his hands with delight, gave me a small smile. "Good!" He turned and walked out of my suit gently shutting my door on the way out.

I opened my trunks and started pulling out dress after dress. I never was one to try and impress a man through my looks. Hell. I never believed in attraction anyway. I was always a believer that it was about money. Always money. The thought of love was so extinct in my mind, and I had my mother to thank for that. But this man was different. He was special. His eyes were so sincere. I wanted to get to know him better.


	3. Chapter Three: Getting To Know You

I was never considered first class. Ever. I was second class from the day I was born, but thanks to my mother's third husband, and his financial status, I was given a first class ticket. I was a little nervous about dinner tonight, only because I wasn't aware of who anyone was, except things I would read or hear.

I was dressed in a dark blue dress that went down to the floor. There was intricate beading all over the bodice of my dress. The sleeves were capped, and fell slightly off my shoulders. The bottom of my dress was all silk, and it felt great on my skin. My corset was tied tighter than I was used to, which only constricted my breathing even more. My dark brown hair was curled, and piled neatly on the top of my head, as a few loose curls fell down the sides of my face. My dark lashes were coated with mascara, which only made my already too big brown eyes, even bigger. My lips were a subtle pink shade, and my creamy alabaster skin was painted with a tiny bit of blush. I looked like a doll, all done up like this. I never looked like this. I smiled at myself in the mirror, stepping back and taking a full look at myself. I turned on my heel grabbing my key, and putting it in my purse. I opened the door, turned to my left and headed for the first class dining room.

X

Dinner went well, a lot better than I had expected actually. I made some small talk with the new faces that surrounded my table. For the most part I remained quiet, listening to the idle gossip that was going on around me. My nerves were finally at stand-still until I looked up at the clock that rested on the fireplace. _8:55. _

My nerves were back in full swing. I would be meeting Jamie up on the deck in five minutes! I instantly stood, in the most un-ladylike way, making everyone's focus land on me.

"I am terribly sorry, but I forgot about a prior engagement that I am now late for." I smiled nervously as blank stares surrounded me. "If you will excuse me. It has been a pleasure dining with all of you. Thank you for a wonderful evening" I smiled one last time and excused myself hastily.

I walked around looking for the lift to take me up to the deck. I was cutting time close, trying to find a way to get up there. _He will certainly think I stood him up if I don't get up there. _I thought to myself. I was franticly looking all around I didn't even realize there was somebody standing in front of me until I crashed into him.

"Oh my. I am so sorry sir. I- I really should be looking where I am walking" I stuttered bending down to pick up my belongings that fell out of my purse.

"Miss. It is quite alright. I should have been looking as well. My face is always buried in my notebook. I hardly ever look where I'm going."

His Irish accent was soft and welcoming. I looked up into a pair of kind eyes, and I could see a hint of a smile playing as his lips. "Well I still apologize, Mr-?"

"Andrews. Thomas Andrews."

"Well, Mr. Andrews, I do apologize for not paying attention. And I hate to leave suddenly, but I must be going, I am already late." I stumbled through my words becoming more flustered by the second.

"Where are you headed? I could point you in the quickest direction."

"I'm trying to get up onto the deck. I'm meeting a-, a uh-… a friend." I finally settled on my choice of words.

"Well I was just headed up to the bridge. It's on my way. Just follow me" He offered his arm and his polite smile. I took it willingly, and we began walking in the direction I came from.

"I never did catch your name." He offered, trying to start small talk I presume.

"Winifred Porter." I stated simply.

"Porter…Porter" He tossed my name around as if trying to find something that I knew simply wasn't there. "American?" he continued. I nodded my head simply, offering him a small smile.

"Well Miss Porter, what friend are you meeting up on deck?" He questioned. I immediately looked to the ground refusing eye contact. Was it proper for me to be meeting an officer? Why did I feel so ashamed? I felt like a child whose hand got caught in the cookie jar.

"He- He is an officer…on the ship. Uh Jami- I mean James Moody." I couldn't have recklessly fumbled that up anymore, even if I had wanted to. My all too familiar blush crept its way back onto my cheeks.

"Officer Moody." I could see him tossing his name around in his mouth, almost as if he were trying to taste it. "A good man. Young. But he does know what he is doing." He said. His gentle eyes falling on mine once more.

I quickly looked to the ground again, trying to refrain from further conversation. I just wanted to see Jamie again. Soon enough we were out on the deck, and I wouldn't have realized it, if a burst of cold hadn't hit me in the face. I looked up immediately, searching for him.

"Well Miss Porter, this is where we part. I must be off to the bridge now. Captain Smith must be wondering where I am." His smile returned on his face as I looked up into his kind eyes. I hadn't really noticed before, but this Thomas Andrews man was good looking for his advanced years. His hair was brown, parted to the sides, with just a dusting of gray by his ears. His eyes were a chestnut brown, and his smile felt infectious. He bent down to give my hand a gentle kiss, and turned around and walked down the deck. I turned from the opposite direction Andrews had gone in search for Jamie.

I walked for another minute, when I saw a dark figure standing up against the railing looking out over the ocean. As I approached the figure it turned at the sound of my heels on the wooden ground. As I got closer I started to recognize the figure in front of me. It was Jamie! I had finally found him.

"I thought I was being stood up." He said with a sigh of relief.

"They really should give you a map of this place. I got lost. That is until a nice man helped me find my way." I said giving him a small smile.

"Oh and who might this nice man be?" he said joking around. A small laugh escaping his lips.

"Thomas Andrews." I stated simply.

"Mr. Andrews? What a great guy. You're lucky to have run into him. He knows this ship better than anyone."

"Yes well, I literally did run into him. I was being a -… what do you mean he knows the ship better than anyone?" I asked feeling instantly stupid for my question.

"Thomas Andrews. He built the ship you are standing on." He said, sounding almost a little wounded.

"Oh." Was all I could muster. I couldn't have been making a bigger fool of myself. There was a moment of silence. Neither of us really knew what to say after that.

"Why don't we go for a walk? Ill give you a little tour; only so you don't get lost again, that is." Jamie said, trying to make, what I can only assume as a joke.

"Ha-Ha…very funny." I retorted, rolling my eyes at him.

"Well that is very un-ladylike of you Miss. Porter. A first class woman rolling her eyes? And at an officer no less?" He continued his joke further.

"Well…to be honest I'm not a first class lady."

"Oh really?" He asked, all joking aside.

"Yes. Really." I took in a deep breath knowing the questions were about to start.

"Then may I ask why you are traveling first class, if you are in fact, not a first class lady?"

"Well…When I was nine years old, my mother left me with aunt in London to follow her third husband to America. He of course had loads of money, and they have been living comfortably in America for the last ten years. They are celebrating their ten year wedding anniversary this coming weekend, and sent me a first class ticket on the Titanic to come and celebrate with them." I spoke quickly trying to avoid this conversation. I had hoped I answered all of his questions about that. My smile was now officially gone from my face, and I couldn't see anything bringing it back any time soon. Jamie noticed.

"And you aren't happy about this because…?" He questioned further.

"Well I haven't seen my mother for ten years. She hasn't kept in contact. I haven't exchanged words with her since the day she left me at my aunt's house. And now she expects me to be happy about the last ten years she spent with a man that she chose over her own daughter." A small tear escaped from the corner of my eye. Thankfully it went un-noticed. This is definitely not how I expected this night to start off.

"Wow. I am terribly sorry. Shall we switch topics?" he asked. All I could do was nod my head. I feared if I said one more thing before I regained my composure, the dam behind my eyes would burst, that I didn't even know existed.

"So you were born in London?" he questioned.

I shook my head. "No. Actually I was born in New York. When I was two we packed up and moved to London, so my father could expand his work." Jamie nodded as if telling me to go on. "Well my mother is from London. She was born and raised there. My father was born and raised in New York. My father had taken a trip to London for his sister's wedding, and on his way back to America he met my mother." My mother used to tell me this story every night before bed. _No. Don't think about her right now Winnie. _I reprimanded myself mentally. "On the ship back to America my mother and father became acquainted with one another. She was headed to America  
"to start a better life." Their friendship turned to more, and suddenly they were inseparable." I smiled to myself. "Who knew her better life would start the moment she stepped onto the ship? Well they got off the ship together. He continued his work, and she played housewife. Soon enough they got married and she had me. And like I said when I was two years old we sailed back to London." I half-smiled, knowing that my life history wasn't all too impressive.

"What happened then?" Jamie pushed further.

"Well…umm…life was really good. My parents were always so happy around each other. I truly believe that they loved each other deeply. When I was six my father passed away." I frowned at the thought. "My mother was so grief stricken. Shortly after, she met husband number two, who after a year of marriage, just never came home. And when I was nine my mother left with husband number three." I stated simply, trying not to open up the dam. "I think she was always looking for the love she shared with my father." I spoke mostly to myself, but it didn't go unnoticed by Jamie.

"Well. You have lived quite a life for only 19 years of living." He looked at me.

"Yeah well…19 years old. According to everyone on this ship I should be married with at least two children." I spat those words out as if they were acid.

"Hey." He stopped and turned to look at me. "That's what everyone else thinks. Don't listen to them. They are just bitter that they aren't a beautiful single girl like you." He blushed and quickly turned away. This made my genuinely smile.

"Beautiful huh?" I asked in a joking manner. "Never heard that one before."

"Never?" he questioned.

"No." I looked down suddenly feeling embarrassed. His finger curled under my chin and slowly lifted my head until my gaze found his.

"You are very beautiful Winnie. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." I could feel my cheeks start to heat up. I couldn't tell if it was because of his words, or the skin to skin contact. But all too soon his hand was gone, and we started walking again.

"So Jamie, what about you? How did you become the Sixth officer on the greatest ship in the world?"

"It's really not as exciting as it may seem." He blew out the rest of the air in his lungs and quickly took a long deep breath. "I always wanted to be on ships since a young age. At age 14 I attended the HMS _Conway_ nautical training ship at Birkenhead. Than shortly after I attended the King Edward VII Nautical School in London. I received my master's certificate and was employed under the White Star Line. I immediately started working on the RMS Oceanic. After that I was moved onto the Titanic. See I told you…not that exciting." He gave me a small smile.

"That sounds very exciting. Leaving home at age 14! That must have been scary."

"Not really. I made friends. Worked my way up. It was the best decision I have ever made." A proud grin replaced the small smile that was on his lips not moments ago.

"So what do you like better? The Oceanic, or Titanic?"

"Titanic by far. Lights and I both agree on that." He stated without a second thought.

"Lights?" I questioned.

"Officer Lightoller. He was an officer with me on the Oceanic. He is Second in command on Titanic." His tone was a little envious.

"Oh." A small breeze picked up and I began to shiver. I hadn't noticed how cold it really was up until now.

"My God, Winnie you're freezing." He rubbed his hands up and down my naked arms. "Let's get you inside before you catch your death." He ushered me in the closest available door. "Wouldn't want you dying on me, just when I was getting to know you." I couldn't tell if it was from the cold, or from what he just said, but a rosy pink tint entered his cheeks.

Jamie walked me all the way back to my cabin. I slid my key into the keyhole, and turned it until I heard the click. I turned to look at Jamie who was watching every move intently. Well Offi- Jamie…I thank you so much for the tour this evening. It was wonderful spending time with you."

"The pleasure is all mine Winnie." He suddenly looked nervous, which in turn made small butterflies rise in my stomach. "Winnie. I was wondering if you would like to attend dinner with me tomorrow. All of the officers will be attending dinner tomorrow night in the first class dining saloon, with Captain Smith, Thomas Andrews and Bruce Ismay. I would really like it if you would accompany me." He said rather quickly.

"Jamie, I would love nothing more." His shoulders fell, and he let out a breath I assumed he had been holding in.

"Great! That's fantastic! I shall see you then? Tomorrow I will pick you up here at 645?"

"Sounds lovely. Can't wait" I replied all too honestly. Jamie bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I could feel my skin heat up almost instantly.

"Sweet dreams Winnie."

"Sweet dreams Jamie." And before more could be said he turned and walked off in the direction we came in. Tomorrow couldn't come any sooner.


	4. Chapter Four: Dinner and a Dilemma

The next day moved slowly, it was almost as if I couldn't keep my eyes off the clock. I spent most of my day in the library trying to submerge myself into a good book, hoping that would make the time move quicker. But every so often my eyes would gravitate to the clock on the mantle, and my focus in the book was soon lost. I decided a walk on the deck would help air out my head. I walked around, but every time I saw a man in uniform it only reminded me of what was to come. I gave up on trying to distract myself, called it quits, and walked back to my suite. I sat on my private promenade deck looking out into the ocean. _I wonder what my aunt it doing. _I thought. I hadn't realized how much I had missed my aunt. It was only the second day on Titanic, and I only saw her just yesterday, but the truth of the matter is, she had become my mother. A mother figure who I hadn't spent more than a day away from since I was nine. I walked back into my suite, and sat down at a beautiful desk that was provided in the sitting area. I would write her a letter.

Between writing the letter, walking around the deck looking for the Marconi Room, and finding my way back again, I had successfully killed almost two hours. When I looked up at my clock I realized that I had only given myself an hour to get ready. _Shit! _I called for maid service to help dress and prepare me for my big dinner with Jamie.

As I sat facing my vanity as Mrs. Gibson pulled at my hair, plucked my eyebrows, and colored in my face, the butterflies in my stomach only grew. After an hour of what I felt to be pure torture I turned around and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was half up, cascading down my back in neat ringlets. My eyes are big and wide, with a thick amount of mascara, coating my already dark lashes. My cheeks were pink matching my lips. My dress was a long satin baby pink gown that made my creamy skin glow. The bodice hugged over my corset, making my already tiny waste, smaller and more pronounced. I had a small subtle diamond necklace with matching earrings to complete the look. I looked stunning. Never in my life had I looked this good. I would require Mrs. Gibson's services from this day on.

As I was lost in my reflection, a knock on the door brought me back to reality. _Jamie! _I swiftly made it to the door, pausing to take a deep relaxing breath. As I opened the door, Jamie was standing their looking handsome in his uniform. I couldn't help the small smile that plastered itself on my face.

"Wow." That was all Jamie could muster. He stepped back taking all of me in, and as his gaze met the bottom of my dress, I suddenly became nervous. His gaze finally met mine, and with his eyes holding mine came a huge grin. "You look absolutely beautiful Winnie. Really, you do. You will make all the other officers jealous I'm sure." A small nervous laugh escaped his lips.

"Thank you Jamie." I couldn't conceal my blush. "You look rather dashing yourself."

"Shall we?" He stuck out his arm, silently asking me to take it. I accepted his offer, and quickly turned to shut my door, and down the hallway we went.

X

As we entered the dining room I suddenly felt nervous. I was going to be meeting the people he works with! _Remember your manners Winnie. Don't embarrass yourself. Be the young respectful LADY your aunt taught you to be. _I repeated this mantra inside my head the entire walk to our table.

As we reached our destination I noticed a man with a full white beard, four officers, a man with a hideous mustache, and Thomas Andrews.

"Winnie I would like to introduce you to Captain Smith, Second Officer Charles Lightoller, First Officer William Murdoch, Fourth Officer Joseph Boxhall, Fifth Officer Harold Lowe, Bruce Ismay, and finally Thomas Andrews, who you already had the pleasure of meeting." He finished with a smile.

"It is a pleasure" I gave a small nod to each of the men and smiled, taking my place in between Jamie, and Mr. Andrews.

Ismay started the conversation, bragging about how Titanic will make "World Headlines". Talking as if God himself couldn't even bring her down. This made me scoff. How could this man be so obtuse?

"This ship may be mine on paper, but she is Mr. Andrews through sweat and blood." Ismay continued.

Honestly? This man was beyond irritating, so I instantly focused my attention elsewhere. I noticed that most of the officers were silent as well. Harold Lowe was a fidgety man. Always tapping his fingers, he couldn't really sit still. Boxhall was intrigued with the conversation at hand. Murdoch and Lightoller both carried themselves in the same way. They sat very tall, stern looks on their faces, almost intimidating. Mr. Andrews was participating in the conversation between Ismay and Captain Smith. Then I looked at Jamie. He turned to look at me as well and lightly smiled.

"What?" he whispered. "Is there something on my face?" he asked with mock concern.

"No." I stifled a chuckle. "Are you as bored as I am?"

"You have no-"…Jamie stopped dead pan, as his gaze went over my head. I turned around to look behind me, and I noticed a woman rising from her seat. She was beautiful, blonde wavy hair fell down her back, big blue eyes, as she donned a dark purple dress. I couldn't help but wonder who this woman was.

"My ex." He stated simply, reading my thoughts.

"Oh" was all I could manage. I couldn't help the pang of jealousy that coursed through my body.

I noticed _her _walk out of the dining room escorted by a very attractive man, that looked somewhat familiar. I turned to look at Jamie's reaction, as his face heated, with what I could only imagine as anger. I sat looking ahead of me suddenly feeling very small. After we finished eating and Jamie still hadn't said anything, I figured enough was enough. He needed time to calm down, and my being here wasn't helping either of us. I just wanted to curl under my blankets. I suddenly stood from the table, which caused Jamie to look at me since she left the room.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to my room." I replied monotone.

"Why?" Concern started to show on his face.

I wasn't having this conversation here, not with all these faces looking at me.

"Gentlemen, I thank you for your company this evening. It has been a pleasure." I gave a small smile and turned for the exit. I made it to the grand staircase before Jamie caught up to me.

"What's going on?"

"Jamie I'm going to bed. I'm tired." I kept walking.

"Winnie…Winnie…Winifred!"

"WHAT?" my sudden outburst had caused some attention in my direction. Fantastic.

"Can we talk?"

"Mr. Moody. When one's company is requested at a dinner, that person is rightful to assume that conversation and pleasantries will be passed between the two. Since I was denied both this evening, I think it is safe to say that I will retire now. There. We talked."

"Mr. Moody?" I turned to start walking again. "Winnie, I am sorry. I didn't expect her to be here and with _him _no less." I kept up my pace until Jamie grabbed my arm and pulled me into a nearby closet. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

"I'm stubborn?" I retorted, making the offensiveness thick in my delivery. I turned for the door.

"Okay. Okay." Defeat laced in his voice. "That woman you saw was to be my betrothed. A week before we were to be wed, I found out that she was sleeping with…my brother." That's why that man looked familiar. He looked like Jamie.

"Oh. Now I should be apologizing." I couldn't help but look down.

"No. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have let it get to me. It's been three years. I should be over it at this point." He removed his hat and ran a hand through his hair.

"Well you left this little detail out when we were getting to know each other."

"It's not something I like to talk about."

_And he thinks I like talking about my life? About how my mother abandoned me for a MAN? _No I wasn't going to start another argument. By this point I felt like nothing could make this night any better. I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was to sleep. I just wish this night hadn't gone so horribly awry.

"That's…understandable." He looked me in the eyes. The connection was so deep I couldn't look away, even if I tried.

"Winnie. You are an amazingly, beautiful, stubborn, brave woman. I can honestly say that I have never met anyone like you. Margaret doesn't hold a candle to you." He stated with pure sincerity.

"Margret?"

"My ex."

"Oh." For no reason I felt jealousy hit me once more, and I had to look away. He lifted my chin with his index finger just like before. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. Butterflies erupted from my stomach, and a grin replaced the frown I wore only moments ago. And although it may have not been proper, I grabbed his face and kissed him hard. I kissed him hard and long. Finally we both came up for air.

"I have to get to my shift." He whispered lightly, moving a strand of hair from my face.

"Okay" was all I could manage.

"Would you like me to walk you back to your suite?"

"I'll be fine. I wouldn't want you getting into trouble." Our voices never rising above a whisper.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" Hope in his voice.

"Try and stop me." I couldn't help but smile. We shared one more brief kiss, and all too quickly he turned and opened up the door.

"You know where you're going?"

"Mhmm." I couldn't stop smiling.

"Good. I can't wait for tomorrow." He grabbed my hand placing a light kiss on my knuckles. Then he turned and walked away.

I watched him walk away until he was out of sight, my mind finally coming back down to planet earth. _Oh shit! _I had no clue where I was. Honestly. This place should come with a map. I started walking down a hallway that looked familiar, until I came to the end. _Wait. These all look the same. Numbers Winnie, numbers. _B-32 is what I needed to find. And of course when you need the assistance of a crewman, there are none to be seen. I kept walking, up a flight of stairs, down two flights of stairs. Eventually I landed on F-Deck. _That is definitely not right. _Only I could completely lose myself. The only thing that remained comforting is that I was on a ship. I couldn't go too far... right?

That is until I came face to face with a large man, who reeked of alcohol.

"Well hello there pretty little thing." He stepped closer to me, grabbing a piece of my hair.

Clearly I had gone too far.


	5. Chapter Five: Here's to you Mr Andrews

I looked all around trying to find an escape, but to no avail, I couldn't find anything that would get me away quick enough. I pressed myself up against a wall, as this hideous man kept walking towards me. _This is how I am going to die. I am never going to see Jamie, my aunt, or even my mother again. _I looked up into this large drunk mans eyes; you could almost see his intentions just by his glare. He ran his rough index finger down my cheek, down my neck, down to my chest. I pushed him away as hard as I could. Next thing I knew I was on the ground, feeling a stinging sensation on my cheek. _He slapped me. He actually hit me._ I ran my fingers over the warm skin on my face; it was raw to the touch. I would definitely have a bruise. I looked up at him in fear, as he grabbed me by my wrist, pulling me up. Our faces were inches apart, and I could smell the alcohol heavy on his breath. He grabbed both of my arms and pushed them against the wall above my head, holding both hands with just one of his. His other hand glided down my side, grabbing and squeezing. I kept squirming, until finally I couldn't take it anymore. Tears started falling down my cheeks, and I let out a deafening scream. The man jumped back slightly, startled by my sudden outburst. He slapped me again.

"You make one more sound, and you won't live to see the sun again, ya' here?" he growled at me. He grabbed my face, and squeezed my cheeks, making my lips pucker. He slammed his lips on mine, it was rough, and it tasted horrible, and it wasn't Jamie. I kept squirming under his strong grip, but I felt like I wasn't even moving. I heard footsteps coming down the flight of stairs to my right. The man stiffened, and placed his hand over my mouth. I tried screaming again, but it only came out garbled and muffled. He slapped me a third time in the same place. I felt a warm liquid fall down my face. _Blood. _He loosened his grip and I fell to the floor. I couldn't tell if I fell because of defeat or fear. I couldn't open my eyes. I didn't want to see what was going to happen to me. And as my sobs became stronger, the footsteps got closer.

"What in the bloody hell is going on down here?"

_I know that voice._

"This is none of your business" shouted the drunken man, still standing over me.

"It damn well is my business! Step away from her now, you pathetic bastard."

"What are you going to do if I don't?"

"I believe Mr. Lightoller here will enjoy escorting you to master-at-arm." You could hear the smirk of victory in his voice. I didn't trust it, not yet. This man was huge, and I wasn't opening my eyes until I was sure it was safe.

"Winnie. It's okay. He's gone now." I finally opened my eyes and looked up into the kind eyes of Mr. Andrews. "Can you stand up?" he asked me, caution in his voice.

"Yes." I whispered. I took my time getting up. I already had a bruise of a hand print around my wrist from when he yanked me up from the ground. I lightly touched my face, only to feel the wet and sticky substance that coated my left cheek.

"Let's get you checked out."

"I want to see Jamie."

"I think we should get you checked first. You're bleeding."

"I want to see Jamie." I wasn't backing down. I just wanted to be in his arms. Then I would go get my face looked at.

"Alright my dear. If you insist." He wrapped my arm around his, and he gently, at my pace, led me back up to the deck.

"Thank you Mr. Andrews, if you hadn't shown up…if you…" I shuddered at the thought.

"There there my darling. It's going to be okay." Tears began to well up in my eyes and spill over. Mr. Andrews stopped in our tracks and turned towards me. "I promise you he won't get near you again. Do you trust me?" His eyes were so kind and so sincere that the issue of trust was never a concern in my mind. I could trust this man with my life. Literally.

We walked to the bridge where Jamie was stationed. Mr. Andrews let go of my arm "I'll be right out with James…err…Jamie." He smiled at me, and it was infectious. Almost instantly Jamie rushed out of the bridge and ran towards me.

"Winnie! How did this happen?" He kissed my cheek. "You said you knew where you were going." He kissed my lips. "Are you okay?" He kissed my other cheek. "Don't ever do something like that again!" he barely took a pause to breathe. I could see moisture welling up in his eyes as well. Jamie was scared.

"I'm okay, thanks to Mr. Andrews."

"No thanks needed here Winnie. I'm just glad I got there when I did. The situation could have been a lot uglier." Again I shuddered at the thought.

"I had gotten word that a passenger was harassed down in steerage. Lights had stopped up here with the bastard before taking him to the master-at-arms. He told me that it was Winnie, "He looked down at me, "and I immediately started to panic. I knew I couldn't leave my post." He completely turned to me. "Don't you ever do that to me again! I thought I lost you. I didn't know how badly you were hurt."

"Yes well, we need to get her to the infirmary Mr. Moody." Mr. Andrews interrupted.

"Yes. Of course. After my shift I'll stop by your cabin to check on you." He kissed the top of my forehead.

"What time do you finish?"

"Well Lights is cutting my shift short, due to circumstances. He's getting Lowe to finish that last two hours of my shift. His shift doesn't start till nine tomorrow morning, so he will get enough rest in between. I'll be done in 30 minutes."

"Okay." I smiled lightly. Mr. Andrews took my arm and wrapped it around his.

"Shall we go Winnie. Your cheek doesn't look so good."

"Yes." I acquiesced. I started walking off with Mr. Andrews. I turned my head to look at Jamie, but he had already walked back inside.

X

I was back in my cabin. I had called Mrs. Gibson to help me undress from my dinner clothes, and into my night dress. The doctor told me that the swelling in my face will reduce in the next 48 hours. He cleaned up the blood, only to find a small little cut on my cheek bone. The wound wasn't big at all, much to my relief. A bruise had already formed on my cheek, and there was nothing that would heel that except for time and makeup. Mrs. Gibson had just left when I heard a faint knock on my door. I rushed over knowing it was Jamie.

"How're you feeling?" His voice was gentle as he stepped into my room.

"Better. Thank you." I smiled up at him. He took three strides towards me until our faces were inches apart. I stood up on my toes and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I ran my fingers through his hair, and rested them around his neck. All too soon he pulled away.

"Yes. You are definitely feeling better." He laughed to himself. He walked over and sat on the sofa in the middle of the room. He motioned for me to come and sit next to him. "You really scared me tonight." He said his voice dropping.

"I'm sorry. I really thought I knew where I was going. I just got lost. And then I ended up in steerage. Then…and then…" I broke down crying again. Jamie was quick to respond, wrapping his arms around me. I rested my head on his shoulder and cried away my fears. Knowing that was safe in my room and in his arms, made the pain disintegrate rather quickly.

"Just promise me you won't do that again. Promise me."

"I promise."

"You have no idea Winnie. You have no idea how useless I felt when I found out it was you down there. I couldn't do anything. I didn't know how badly injured you were. I didn't know if I was even going to see you. I…"

"Shhh. Please. I'm okay Jamie. Look. I'm fine. Really."

"It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than you're trying to convince me."

"I'm trying to convince both of us." I admitted. He looked at me and leaned in and placed a kiss on my forehead. He stood up stretching his back.

"You need some rest."

"Stay with me." It wasn't a question.

"I don't know Winnie…"

"Please. I don't want to sleep alone."

"Oh alright."

"What time is your next shift?"

"Lunch time tomorrow. Why?"

"Just curious." I took his hand and led him to my bedroom. "I have every intention of sleeping in tomorrow."

"As do I." he chuckled. I turned down the sheets and climbed in. Jamie kicked of his shoes and socks, removed his pants and jacket and hung them over the chair in front of my vanity. He climbed into bed and snuggled under the blankets, wrapping his arms around me.

"Sleep soundly Winnie."

"You too Jamie." I closed my eyes and started drifting.

"I love you Winnie." It was a faint whisper, but it was there.

"You too Jamie." I whispered in response. That night I fell asleep in the arms of the man I loved, and with a smile on face, only to encounter happy dreams.


	6. Chapter Six: A Life So Changed

I slowly opened my eyes only to the bright light that filled the room. I turned and looked at the clock near my vanity and saw that it was 9:45. I glanced down and saw Jamie fast asleep. He looked so young, and so peaceful, like he didn't have a care in the world. I got up carefully trying not to wake him from his peaceful slumber. I walked into the bathroom deciding to run a bath to remove yesterday's events from me. I padded back into my bedroom, deciding on what to wear for the day as the bath tub filled up. I decided on a light green dress with white lace sleeves; simple enough. I walked back into the bathroom, removed my night dress and submerged myself into the warm water. The steam danced around my face, carrying a hint of lavender, which immediately relaxed me. I kept thinking back to the previous night. Dinner, seeing Jamie's ex-fiancée' our first fight, our first kiss, being attacked, being saved by Mr. Andrews, Jamie saying I love you, and falling asleep in his arms. I suddenly became exhausted again just thinking about it.

I spent another ten minutes in the tub, than removed myself before my skin started to wrinkle. I dried myself off and wrapped my silk robe around me. I sauntered back into my bedroom and sat at the vanity. In the mirror I could see Jamie's body rise and fall with each relaxing breath he took. I smiled to myself and focused my attention back to my face. _That horrid bruise. _It was a mixture of blue's and purple's, and it expanded from my left cheekbone down to the tip of my nose. I quickly grabbed my makeup and applied as much I could without it being too obvious. I effectively covered most of it, but there were traces of it still on my face. I applied some mascara to my eyes, and some color to my lips. I let my hair fall down, and the steam from the bath made my hair curl more. I pinned some pieces back, but for the most part it would do. I grabbed my corset, bloomers, and my dress and headed back to the bathroom. I was able to get everything on with relative ease, with the exception of my sore wrist.

As I exited the bathroom, I noticed Jamie looking at me from the bed.

"You look absolutely breath-taking" he smiled at me.

"Why thank you kind sir" I smiled back.

"Come over here." He patted a spot on the bed next to him, and I willingly, without hesitation, obliged.

He looked into my eyes, and smiled a smile of love. His hand lightly stroked my left cheek, being gentle as to not hurt me. His gaze followed his thumb, as he examined the light bruising that was still visible.

"I could kill him." He whispered, not taking his eyes off my bruise. I couldn't help but look down. "Hey." I looked up at his through my lashes. "Why don't we go for a walk?"

X

We had strolled the deck arm in arm, taking in the beauty of this peaceful Friday morning. We walked and talked for two hours until Jamie had to go back on duty.

"I'll see you when you're done at dinner, I'll wait outside your cabin door for you. That is if you would like" I smacked his arm playfully. _Of course I wanted him there. _And he knew that. "Alright I'll see you then."

"Have fun." I joked to him, and all he could do was smile, as he walked off towards the bridge. I returned myself to the library and picked out a book. After taking thirty or so minutes to decide, I strolled back up towards the deck, deciding to sit in the sunlight and read. I had only been reading for an hour or so until I heard Mr. Andrews giving a tour. I peeked up from my book and gave him a small smile.

"If you would excuse me just one moment." I heard him say to the group of people he was with. He walked over to me, taking a seat in the vacant lounge chair next to me. "How're you feeling today Winnie?" he asked, caution in his voice.

"I am feeling just fine, thank you Mr. Andrews." I smiled a genuine smile.

"I am very glad to hear that. I am just finishing up with this tour, than why don't I give you a tour of the ship meself?"

"That sounds wonderful." Besides it gave me something to do. He got up walked over to the group and they headed down towards the front of the ship. Within twenty minutes Mr. Andrews had returned.

"Shall we?" I placed my book down the on the chair and stood up, with the help of his arm. We started off towards the back of the ship.

X

Mr. Andrews gave me a small tour of the ship, casually pointing out some places that we would pass, and only stopping to describe things that he took extra pride in. For the most part we discussed our lives before Titanic, and what we had planned to do after. Our discussion had lasted all the way until I heard to call for dinner.

"It was pleasure spending my time with you today Winnie. Perhaps I will see you at dinner and we can continue our conversation."

"Thank you so much Mr. Andrews. I really enjoyed today." I smiled at him. His kind eyes glittering in the sunlight.

"I shall see you soon my young Winnie." I gave him a small nod and a smile, and I walked myself back to my cabin to get ready.

Mr. Andrews was becoming a father figure towards me. Being there for me, helping me with my problems, and answering questions that I never had an answer for. He was such a kind man, with an equally kind heart. He would be a man I could never forget.

X

Dinner went smoothly. I spent most of my night talking with Mr. Andrews, picking up where we left off only an hour before. It was so easy talking to him. All too soon dinner was over, and Mr. Andrews was excusing himself to the smoking room with the rest of the men at our table.

"I truly enjoyed spending the day with you Winnie."

"As did I Mr. Andrews. Thank you." He placed a light kiss on my knuckles, and with that he turned and walked out. I excused myself as well and headed out the doors towards my cabin. Jamie was probably waiting at my door as we speak. When I turned into my hallway, there was not a soul in sight. _Strange. _Jamie had said he would meet me here after I was done with dinner. I didn't give it too much thought, trying not to worry myself, and walked into my suite.

I took my hair out letting it cascade down my back and shoulders in a waterfall of curls. Hair pins were terribly uncomfortable. I took off my heels as well trying to make myself as comfortable as possible. I went back into the lounge and sat on the sofa, and picked up a book. Suddenly an overwhelming feeling of fatigue came over me, and I drifted.

"Jamie!" I jumped awake, inhaling a large needed breath. _What time is it? _I looked at the clock. 11:14. _Where the hell is he? _I decided I would go looking for him. I walked back into my room, put my heels back on and grabbed my coat. I walked out into the hallway and made a quick left, down the hallway and to the stairs. I walked up the stairs, made a right and walked out the door. A sudden burst of cold startled me, and I was grateful for bringing my jacket. I wrapped my coat around me, trying to create extra warmth, against this frigid night. I headed down towards the bridge, and bumped into Mr. Lowe.

"Ah. Mr. Lowe I was wondering if you have seen Mr. Moody anywhere?"

"Miss Porter what are you doing out this late at night, and without an escort? Did you not learn from last night?" That was a little harsh.

"I am ignoring that Mr. Lowe. I came looking for Jamie. He said he was going to meet me about two hours ago and I haven't seen him."

"He was off at nine Miss Porter. That was the last time I saw him when I relieved him of his post. He walked in that direction." He pointed over my shoulder back to the way I came from.

"Oh alright. Well if you see him, tell him I came looking for him please."

"I will. You might want to try the mess hall. He sometimes likes to sit in there and have a cup of tea to warm himself. You can understand." I felt a shiver and rubbed my arms. Yes I could understand.

"Thank you Mr. Lowe. Which way is the mess hall again?"

"Just go through that door, down the flight of stairs, and it will be straight ahead of you." I walked in that direction. Hopefully Jamie was there; at least I would know he was alright.

I went down the flight of stairs, and came up to the door in front of me. I heard talking coming from the other side, and one of those voices was Jamie. Another I didn't know, but it was a female.

"Jamie. I just don't understand what the big issue is."

"The issue is Maggie, is that I don't need you coming to see me when you are here with my brother."

"Maggie? Whose Maggie?" I asked myself. I focused my attention back to what was going on.

"Look Jamie. So what if I came to see you. I miss you." _Maggie…Margret! Jamie's ex._

"I don't care if you miss me Maggie. We are no longer together, and that was your choice, not mine. If I had gotten it my way we would be married right now but were not. And thanks for that! Because I met the most beautiful, smart, brave woman on this planet and I love her.

"What!?" Margret shouted startling me.

"You heard me. I am now officially two hours late to see her, and you are not worth anymore of my time. Now if you will excuse me." _Oh shit! _I heard his footsteps coming for the door, and I bolted around the hallway. I could hear the door swing open and footsteps go up the stairs.

"JAMIE!" she shouted, storming out of the mess hall. She stomped her foot and walked down the corridor in the opposite direction of where I was hiding. I ran for the stairs and ran up them, trying to make it back to my suite before Jamie got there. I opened the door to the deck and smacked in the face by a gush of cold wind.

"Oi. Jamie!" I heard Mr. Lowe call Jamie over. _Thank you! A distraction! _"That girl, umm Miss. Porter, came around here looking for you."

"Where did you send her?"

"Told her I didn't know where you were, thought maybe you were in the mess hall, not sure if she went down there or not."

"I didn't see her down there."

"Then she probably went back to her room. Told me if I saw you to tell you she was looking for you."

"Thanks Harry."

I snuck around them and walked into the nearest door. I walked quickly down the hallway in the most unladylike of fashion, but there was no one around to view my horrid display. I quickly entered my room and slammed the door, leaning up against it breathing heavily from the exercise of hauling my ass at that pace. I heard a faint knock on my door, and I smiled to myself. I turned and opened the door, and he walked in quickly and quietly.

I turned towards him, and without saying anything he gave me a deep kiss. After a few moments he stopped so we could both catch our breath.

"I am so sorry it took me so long to get here. I was preoccupied you could say."

"It's alright. I actually fell asleep for awhile, and I woke up only twenty minutes or so ago. I went looking for you, I was scared that something had happened. I bumped into Lowe, said he would look out for you."

"Yes I just bumped into him. I was down in the mess hall, cleaning up a mess you could say." He smirked at me, and I could only smile. He got rid of her for good.

"It's okay. You're safe, and that's all that matters." I lightly kissed his lips.

"Look Winnie, I need to talk to you about something."

"Oh?"

"Why don't we sit down." We walked over to the sofa and sat very closely to each other. "Winnie. I have never met anyone like you. And I know that we only met three days ago, but I feel like I have known you for so much longer. Whenever you're not around, you're always on my mind. I can't get you out of my head." He started laughing a little. I couldn't tell if he was embarrassed, or the actual thought of not getting me out of his head was in some way humorous. "I know I might sound crazy when I say this, and I hope it doesn't scare you off, but I can't keep it to myself any longer. "Winnie…Winifred…I love you. I have loved you since we spent our first night walking around the ship getting to know one another. I just hope you feel the same."

I just stared at him, and one single tear fell down my cheek. "Winnie please say something." His eyes were pleading.

"I love you too. More than you know." A huge grin plastered itself on his face and kissed me…hard. A kiss of happiness quickly turned into a kiss of lust, than it turned to a kiss of need. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me to my bedroom. He laid me down on the bed, and hovered himself over me, kissing my cheek, my lips, my neck. I started to unbutton his uniform jacket, as he pulled me up so he could unbutton the back of my dress. I didn't care how scandalous this would seem, because I loved him and he loved me. That was all that matters. We were laying there kissing each other, skin against skin.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked me panting heavily.

"Yes. I'm sure." And I had never been so sure about anything in my life. And so he took me. He took me to a place that I had never gone before. And it was special, because it was with a man I loved. A love I thought I would never find.


	7. Chapter Seven: My Promise to You

I woke up to Jamie lightly stroking my back; I looked up at him and he was smiling.

"Good morning."

"A very good morning in deed." I smiled up at him.

"I could wake up to this every morning."

"Wake up to what?"

"Your beautiful face Winnie." He sighed, sounding so sincere. It gave me goose-bumps. We laid there for a few more minutes before I decided that I needed to get up. I turned my back to him, stood and stretched up on my tip-toes raising my hands above my head. I was sore; very sore.

"You okay?" Jamie asked concern in his voice.

"Yeah. I'm just a bit sore is all."

"That's to be expected." This was news.

"Oh really? And how do you know that?" I asked while walking over to my vanity chair to put on my robe.

"Well…I mean…it's just that…uhh"

"Spit it out already." I said jokingly.

"Margret felt the same way." He looked down avoiding my reaction

"Oh." Was all I could manage and I walked into the bathroom to run myself a bath. I stood by the tub as it was filling with the hot water. The steam hit my face, and it somewhat calmed me instantly.

"I'm sorry I brought it up." Jamie startled me.

"Don't worry about it." I ignored looking at him. I didn't like thinking about him and her together.

"What are you doing?" he asked me, I think he was trying to start conversation.

"Taking a bath." I answered simply. Sarcasm wasn't in the playing cards, and I really wasn't in a playful mood anymore.

"May I join you?" this caught me off guard.

"…If you want." I answered slowly. "What time is your next shift?" I asked as I slipped of my robe and eased my way into the steaming water.

"Ten to four." He replied as he removed my bedding from his waist and eased himself in as well. It was eight right now.

"Oh. Okay." There was nothing else I could say, so instead I grabbed the wash cloth and bar of soap. I lathered up the wash cloth and started rubbing it up and down my arms.

"Here, let me." He took the wash cloth from my hands. He turned my body so my back was to his chest, and he slowly and gently massaged the soapy suds into my skin. He lightly kissed my neck, continuing the circular motion on my arm. This felt…different. It reminded me of last night. I could feel tension and longing, and the irresistible urge to kiss him and have him hold me. I wanted him to take me to that place…again. I turned my head to his and kissed him hard. This took him off guard and it took him a moment to respond.

"Insatiable." He stated against my lips. It wasn't a question…it was a fact. I completely turned my body towards him and we picked up where we left off last night. He took me to that place again, and all of my jealous anger from before was forgotten.

X

It was near noon, and Jamie had been on his shift for the last two hours. The rest of our morning went wonderfully, and I was no longer upset about the conversation we shared. I needed to accept the fact that he had a life before I came along, as did I. My life may have not been as unbridled as his, but now it was, and even though what we did something that shouldn't be done until I am properly married, nothing in my life had ever felt so right. I walked along the decks, absorbing the sun on this beautiful Saturday. My mind drifted to what was going to happen when we docked in New York. Would I see Jamie again? Would our relationship continue? We never had this conversation, and I didn't know what to expect. Would he want to continue his life without me? He said he loved me, so I'm sure he couldn't move on so easily. My nerves were suddenly back.

I hadn't had anything to eat since yesterday's dinner, and I decided that maybe some food in my stomach would calm my shaky nerves. I walked into the café, and sat at a table next to the window. I waiter came over, and I ordered some soup and a cup of tea. I was looking out the window into the ocean when my thoughts were suddenly disturbed.

"Penny for your thoughts my dear?"

"Ah. Mr. Andrews, care to join me?" I asked, not realizing how lonely, and wanting of company I really was. Mr. Andrews would surely take my mind off of what was to become of Jamie and I's relationship.

"I would love nothing more." He sat down placing his little black notebook on the table next to the wall. I smiled up at him, as my waiter returned with my cup of tea and to take Mr. Andrews order as well.

"Just a cup of tea for me, thank you." He said with a smile. That was the one thing I enjoyed about him. He never seemed to have a worry in the world and he always had a smile on his face.

"How are you today my dear?" he asked genuinely.

"I am doing very well, thank you for asking. And how about yourself Mr. Andrews?"

"Oh stop with the Mr. Andrews, Winnie. Please call me Thomas." He said with a chuckle.

"Alright…Thomas." I said slowly. "How has your day been so far?"

"It's been beautiful. The sun is shining on my baby, and all the passengers look pleased. I couldn't ask for anything more." He smiled. His tea arrived and he took a sip. "Now, how about you tell me what's been occupying your thoughts. I do believe the ocean is lovely myself, but I don't find it that interesting." He said laughing.

"Well, I'm just a little concerned about Jamie and I's relationship." I looked down at my cup of tea.

"Why are you so concerned?" I saw you two yesterday walking the decks, and you looked absolutely smitten with each other."

"Well yes. He told me he loved me, and I believe him, it's just that…I don't know what's going to happen to us after Titanic docks."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"No. Not yet at least. I only just thought about it."

"Well try not to worry about it my young Winnie. James is the type of guy who wouldn't let a special girl like you get away. And he would be a fool if he did."

"Thank you Thomas." I smiled a genuine smile since Jamie had left for his shift.

"No thanks needed Winnie. You a bright beautiful young woman, and any man for that matter would be foolish for letting you go." I smiled up at him taking my tea and sipping it. My soup arrived and it smelled heavenly. My stomach growled begging me to take spoonful. I didn't realize how hungry I really was.

"Are you sure you don't want food Thomas?"

"I'm sure. I actually just finished up lunch with Bruce and the Captain. I noticed you sitting over here, so I decided to come and check on you. Please my dear. Eat up, you look famished." And I was. I dipped my spoon into the steaming bowl and placed in my eager mouth. _So good! _My stomach stopped growling instantly.

"So what are your plans once we dock?" Thomas asked me

"Well I'm going to meet up with my mother. I haven't seen her since I was nine."

"Well you must be excited." He said with a smile. I stopped my spoon midway and just looked at him. "Maybe not?" he laughed.

"No. Not excited." My spoon found its way back in my mouth.

"May I ask why?" Here we go.

"She left me to be with her current husband in America." I stated simply. That should cover the unpleasant story without further questions.

"Ah. I left my daughter back in Belfast with her mother. I haven't seen her in a month, and I won't be seeing her for at least another month." He said, his permanent smile, fading away from his face.

"How old is she?"

"She's two." He said, his smile returning to his face. "Her names Elba, well Elizabeth." He said correcting himself.

Our conversation had gone from there. He discussed his life at home, his wife and daughter, and how he worked his way to become the wonderful shipbuilder he was today. Our conversation went to a more personal level than it did yesterday. It was nice, and comforting to know that he felt he could trust me with such information. Before I knew it, it was already two which meant Jamie was being relieved of his shift.

"My my where did the time go?" Thomas asked to himself as he glanced at his pocket watch. "I have a tour to give in fifteen minutes. Would you like me to escort you back to your stateroom?"

"No need Thomas. Don't want you to be late to that tour." I replied with a smile.

"Very well then. I thank you for your company, and it has been a pleasure as always Winnie."

"Same to you Thomas." He lightly kissed my knuckles before excusing himself from the table and walking out of the café. I sighed to myself, and decided to head back to my room. If Jamie was going to come looking for me that would be the first place he would check. I stood up, and a pain shot through my lower stomach. _Ouch! _I straightened up even more trying to stretch out the pain. It started to evaporate thankfully and I started off towards my room. _Wow. I'm really sore. _This was going to take some getting used to.

When I returned to my room to pain was still there, it was dull, but it was still there. I thought maybe another bath might help soothe, so I walked to the bathroom to turn on the tub. Two baths in one day. This was unorthodox. I walked back into my bedroom pinned the rest of my hair up so it wouldn't get wet. I struggled to undress myself, but I finally was able to do so. I looked at my reflection. The bruise was starting to lighten up a bit, but it still required makeup. I walked out into the lounge area, grabbed an envelope and wrote on the front

_USE THIS TO COME IN_

I than walked over to my purse on the table, dug around for my key, and placed it into the envelope. I stuck the envelope under the door face down, as to not show the writing on it. I only left a little bit to be seen on the other side, just enough so Jamie would notice it. I walked back into the bathroom removed my robe and eased myself once again into the steaming water.

I closed my eyes and relaxed, letting the pain in the lower half of my body effervesce. I was in the tub for about twenty minutes before I heard a knock on the door. I knew if I tried to shout that I wouldn't be heard, so I decided to let him figure it out himself. A moment later I heard the door shut and footsteps walking around the lounge area.

"Winnie?"

"In the bathroom." I somewhat shouted back.

"Are you okay?" he asked from my room.

"Sort of. I'm in the tub."

Again?" he asked walking into the bathroom.

"Yes again."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing really." I said slowly. "I was having tea with Mr. Andrews and when I got up to leave I felt a pain in my lower abdomen. I tried walking it off, and it dulled down a bit, but I decided that a warm bath would help."

"Maybe we shouldn't…ya know…for awhile." He said, as the corner of his mouth twitched up.

"Yeah…maybe" I said somewhat distracted by the thought. I looked up from the water into his brown eyes. "How did your shift go?"

"It wasn't eventful if that's what you're asking. I watched Lowe plot ways to get back at Fleet for all the pranks he's been pulling."

"Fleet?"

"He's one of our lookouts. The two of them up there like to play small jokes on us in the bridge. Harry is dead set on getting them back."

"Oh. Well it sounds like the crew of this ship are being productive." I said laughing.

"Hey." He said trying to sound offended. He dipped his hand into the tub and splashed me.

"Jamie!" I shouted playfully.

"Your fault!" he said splashing me again.

"Hey. Cut it out!" I said in between laughter. I was laughing harder than I have in a very long time. I splashed him back, soaking him.

"Oh so you want to play Miss. Porter." He said. He stood up and removed his hat and jacket. He also removed his pants, undershirt, and undergarments. He hoped into the tub with me, grabbing me and tickling me.

"Jamie!" I couldn't breathe I was laughing too hard.

"So Miss. Porter wants to play with a professional like myself." He continued to tickle me and splash me. Putting my hair up had become pointless.

"Jamie!" I screamed with laughter again. I closed my eyes tight to avoid getting water in my eyes. He stopped and took his thumbs and lightly ran them under my eyes to remove the water that was running down. I opened my eyes and looked into his. His smile was gone, and was now replaced with a serious one. He gently leaned in and kissed me. It was passionate. It wasn't rough or forceful. It was loving. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and for the third time in a twenty four hour period, he took me to that place again.

X

We laid on my bed in each other's arms under the blankets. We were both dry by now, except my hair which was still a little damp. Jamie was running his hand up and down my bare back, as I rested my head on his chest.

"What do you think is going to happen to us when dock?" I blurted out. His hand stopped in the middle of my back.

"What do you mean?"

"Well what's going to happen…with us?"

"I still don't understand Winnie." He said sitting up. I sat up looking at him.

"When we dock in New York, is that going to be the end of us? Am I going to see you again? Are we going to keep in contact? I was thinking about this today, and well, I don't want to be apart from you. I think it would kill me. You are the best thing that has happened to me since…I don't even know when." I spoke honestly and truthfully. I didn't care how crazy I sounded, I was just happy to express what was building inside of me all day. _"Well try not to worry about it my young Winnie. James is the type of guy who wouldn't let a special girl like you get away. And he would be a fool if he did." _Thomas' words filled my thoughts.

"Winnie. I can't bear to lose you either." He got up out of bed, walked into the bathroom and emerged with his pants. He stuffed his hand into one of the pockets and was rummaging around in it for a moment until he pulled something out. He walked back to the bed and grabbed my hands. I stood up, draping the sheets around my small frame.

"Winifred. I love you with all my heart and I cannot bear to lose you at all. I always felt like I was missing something, and I wasn't quite sure what that was until I met you. You light up this part of me that I never knew existed. I want to make a promise to you. A promise of love and loyalty. I promise to love you until the day I die. And I promise to be loyal and faithful to you. I want to give you this, it was my mothers." He opened his hand to reveal a beautiful sapphire ring. "I want you to be mine, and only mine. I want to love and care for you, and have babies with you. I want to marry you. So Winifred." He got down on one knee. "Will you do me the honor and be this lovesick man's wife?"

Tears fell down my cheeks. I wanted to scream yes, but I didn't even know if I could talk. I was ecstatic. This amazingly handsome, caring, beautiful man just asked me to marry him. Me. A woman who thought she could never find love.

"Yes!" I shouted as the tears kept rolling down my face. "Yes, yes, yes!" his smile spread across his entire face, as he slipped the ring onto my left hand. He picked me up and swung me around laughing like a school boy. He set me down and looked into my eyes before kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, like I've done so many times before. He gently laid me down on the bed not breaking from my lips, as he gently lay on top of me. My mind was racing with so many thoughts. I'm with the greatest man on the greatest ship in the world. I'm kissing my fiancé. I'm going to be Mrs. Winifred Moody.


	8. Chapter Eight: What is this Feeling

_"Jamie. Please don't go. I love you." I screamed. I looked up at him as he was standing on the decks. But where was I? I looked down and all I saw was darkness, and I was cold, too cold. _

_"I love you too" he shouted back down. I could see tears sliding down his cheeks, they glistened in the moonlight. Where was I? I looked next to me and noticed I was in a boat, alone. When I looked up again Jamie was gone. I was alone, in the cold, and in a boat. The number four was boldly printed on the side. I started screaming for help, and for Jamie to come back, but he was gone._

I shot up from my dream. My hair was sticking to my drenched face, a mixture of sweat and tears. I placed a hand on my heart trying to get my breathing under control. I looked over next to me and Jamie was gone. I instantly started to panic again. I tossed back the blankets and noticed a white paper fall to the floor. I dove off the bed and grabbed it.

_My shift started at 7 and ends at noon. I'll meet you in the café for lunch. I'll be thinking about you Mrs. Moody_

My body instantly relaxed, and I couldn't help the smile that grew on my face; my dream instantly forgotten. I'm getting married. Me! I looked to the clock and noticed that it was already 11. _Church! _I missed church services. Oh well. God had answered all of my prayers, anyway.

I got up and walked over to the vanity. My bruise was getting increasingly better, and the swelling from my face diminished. I looked down to wrist, and the bruising had turned to a faint yellow tint. I walked into the bathroom, grabbed a washcloth and proceeded to wash my face, being gentle when scrubbing my cheek. I walked back into my room and started to cover up the fading bruise. I applied mascara and lip coloring to my face to complete the look. I walked to my closet to pick something out, but it was hard to decide. I rang for Mrs. Gibson to help me out; she was so good at this sort of thing.

X

By time Mrs. Gibson had helped me dress in pale blue silk dress with white lace, it was time to meet Jamie. I walked down the hall to the lift to escort me up to the decks. As I walked outside the sun and wind smacked me in the face. It was very bright out this morning, God smiling upon the passengers of Titanic, and my new engagement. The wind blew my hair, making it whip around my face.

I walked down towards the café, looking for Jamie, but spotting him nowhere. I decided to grab a table near the window, but all that was left was a table for six. I felt guilty for taking up so much space, when only two would be occupying this table. Ah well. Nothing could be done about it. I sat down at the edge of the table facing away from the door. I suddenly felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and a light kiss on my good cheek.

"Good afternoon my darling." I couldn't help but smile. I turned to look at him, and he had the biggest grin on his face.

"Good afternoon Mr. Moody." I returned.

"I hope you don't mind if Harry and Charles join us. They were just relieved as well, and I offered for them to have lunch with us." He smiled at me taking a seat across from me.

"No. Not at all." I smiled back

Charles and Harry had joined us about five minutes later. Harry took a seat next to me and Charles next to Jamie.

"So I hear congratulations are in order!" Harry suddenly said

"Congratulations for what?" I looked up to see Thomas smiling down on me.

"Oh Thomas, how are you today?"

"Very good my dear Winnie, and how about yourself?"

"Very good. I am in lovely company this afternoon" I gestured to the three men surrounding me

"Would you have room for one more?"

"Of course Thomas. Please take a seat." I smiled at him. His company was always wanted. He really knew how to keep me in good spirits.

"So as I was saying…congratulations Winnie." Harry continued

"Yes congratulations you two." Charles chimed in.

"I would offer my best wishes, if I knew what was going on." Thomas chuckled, placing his little black notebook next to him.

"Last night Winnie accepted my hand in marriage." Jamie said with a confident smile

Thomas coughed on the sip of water he was taking, and started to laugh.

"Congratulations you two." He said coughing and laughing at the same time. "And you were worried for nothing." He leaned over to whisper to me. "So when are you two planning on getting married?"

Jamie and I just looked at each other.

"The sooner the better Mr. Andrews. I don't want to wait much longer to make this beautiful young woman my wife."

"Cause if you do I may try and snatch her up." Harry said playfully.

"That's because you couldn't find a woman if she fell right in front you."

"Yeah…well…I'm just taking my time is all."

"Gentlemen, quit your bantering at once." I tried to suppress my laughter. "You two are making a scene."

"Yeah well he started it." Jamie joked.

"Alright you two. Knock it off or I will take her away from the both of you." Charles jumped in.

The three of them continued on like children, fighting over a toy.

"Are they always like this?" Thomas leaned behind Harry to ask me.

"I hope not." I couldn't suppress the laughter any longer.

The waiter came around to our table and received all of our orders, and scurried off to the kitchen. The boys picked up their discussion from where it had left off. Somewhere between if Jamie dies, than Harry gets me, and if Harry dies than Charles gets me.

"No no no. That's not right! I'm oldest so I should get her first." Charles said to Harry.

"No no no. I am next in line. She wouldn't want to be with someone as old as you."

"So you think I'm old?"

"Not old…just advanced." Harry said slowly.

"You are speaking to a senior officer."

"No I'm speaking to an old man who wants a woman who is half his age!"

"So you do think I'm old!"

"Who has to die for me to get her?"

"Thomas!" I was shocked!

"What? I would like to know!" I just shook my head and took a sip of my tea in front of me. "I think I should get her."

"No disrespect Mr. Andrews, but aren't you already married?" Charles questioned.

"Yes I am. But I'm only asking out of curiosity."

"Alright. If Jamie dies, than I get her. If I die than Charles gets her. And if Charles dies, than Mr. Andrews you get her."

"So I just have to kill all three of you to get her." Thomas joked

"You four are giving me a headache." I sighed.

The conversations of who I would belong to died down and normal conversation had started up…thank heavens.

"Winnie you must let me know when you're getting married, I expect an invitation." Thomas spoke after our plates had been taken away.

"Of course Mr. Andrews. Who else would walk me down the aisle?" I smiled at him

"Oh Winnie, I am honored that you think of me as such."

"Of course I do. I don't have a father in my life, and I like to think that you have filled that role since we met."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." He smiled at me. I could see a tear prick at his eyes with joy. "Well I have rather enjoyed your company today gentlemen. But I must be off. Lots to be done."

"Thank you for joining us today sir. It has been a pleasure and an honor." Jamie spoke

"Winnie, it has been a pleasure as always my dear." Thomas kissed my knuckles once more. "Gentlemen." He spoke, and turned on his heel and walked out.

"Well I am going to go take a nap before my next shift." Harry said.

"Aye. Me too." Charles spoke.

"You need your rest grandpa." Harry joked.

"I am only nine years your senior." Charles complained like a small child.

"Senior. Why yes you are. Good of you to admit Lights" Harry returned, before quickly leaving the café.

"If you will excuse me… I have some business to take care of." Charles said through gritted teeth before following Harry.

"I swear. I don't know how I put up with them." Jamie said as he tossed his napkin onto the table.

"I don't know either. You may wear uniforms and act as if you are officers of this ship, but I swear, you men act half your age. That uniform is just an illusion."

"Well I am glad you think so high of us Miss. Porter." Jamie said standing from the table. I stood as well and linked arms with his as we exited the café towards the deck.

"So what would you like to do today?" Jamie asked

"I'm not sure. Just being with you is enough." I smiled up at him.

We walked along the deck, a comfortable silence surrounding us. Conversation didn't start up again until we passed the lifeboats.

"You know there aren't enough lifeboats on board?" Jamie spoke up.

"Really?"

"There is enough for about half actually. I heard Mr. Andrews put up a fight about it, but Mr. Ismay refused. Said it wasn't worth it on a ship that couldn't sink."

"Well that's just foolish don't you think?"

"Of course I do. If there was one thing I learned it was that all ships can sink. No vessel is inferior to God."

We passed by a few lifeboats, they had numbers boldly printed on the sides of them. Something was familiar about them. _I was alone, in the cold, and in a boat. The number four was boldly printed on the side. I started screaming for help, and for Jamie to come back, but he was gone. _My dream! I started to shudder remembering it, as if it were real. Jamie took notice.

"What's wrong sweetheart?"

"I had this dream last night. I was on a lifeboat..." I pointed to lifeboat four. "…that one actually. You were on deck and I was in it. You said you loved me than disappeared. It was so real, and so unnerving."

"It was just a dream."

"What was the most alarming is that when I woke up you were gone. I thought it actually happened." I clung to Jamie. This feeling of losing him was suddenly making me fearful. I don't know what I would do.

"Shh. It's alright. Trust me. I'm not going anywhere unless you make me." He leaned down and kissed my forehead and we continued our walk away from the lifeboats. Something I hope we would never have to use.

X

Jamie and I had spent the rest of the day just walking around the decks, thinking about what our life would be like. Since he didn't have to go on shift until nine, we decided that we would order our food in, and just sit in my suite and talk.

After dinner we laid on my bed in each other's arms, just the presence of one another was relaxing. I started to drift in and out of sleep. The feeling of Jamie's chest falling and rising with each breath was soothing. Before I knew it, I was fully asleep.

_Jamie! Jamie where are you? I couldn't stop crying, or shivering for that matter. Where did Jamie go? I just wanted to be back in his arms. I wanted him to hold me, and tell me everything was going to be okay. Jamie! Then I saw him. He was floating in the ocean. He was frozen…and dead! I couldn't resist the blood-curdling scream that resonated out of my lips._

I shot up quickly! This felt real…too real. Tears were pouring down my face.

"Christ Winnie. What's wrong?" Jamie sounded alarmed.

"You…the ocean…frozen…dead." I couldn't complete sentences, I was still sobbing.

Jamie took me in his arms and just rubbed my back in soothing circular motions.

"Shh. Winnie sweetheart I'm right here. Please don't cry my darling."

I tried to suppress my sobs, but I felt as if a dam had broken. The all too real feeling of losing him was seriously starting to alarm me. I couldn't tell if it was an omen, just because we were on a ship in the middle of the North Atlantic, or I was so much in love with him, I feared he would leave me like my mother did. Alone and yearning for love.

He laid back down, moving me so I was on his chest. He kept rubbing my back and every so often, he would place small loving kisses on my head. After a few more minutes the unattractive water works stopped.

"I'm sorry." I sniffled in an unladylike way.

"You really scared me. Are you okay now?" his voice soothing.

"Yes I think so."

"Good. How about I run a bath for you? It will calm you down. My next shift starts in thirty minutes, so I have some time."

"Okay." He gently moved me and padded off towards the bathroom. I could hear the water running filling that tub I had come to love in times of need. He walked back in and gestured for me to follow him. We both entered the bathroom and the welcoming feeling of steam danced around me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and spun me around so my back was to his front. He started to undo the buttons on the back of my dress with gentle fingers. My dress fell to the floor and he started working on the corset. Being so exposed I should have felt vulnerable, but instead I felt comfortable and relaxed. _This was so scandalous. _

Once I was fully undressed he gave me his hand and helped me into the tub. He pulled a chair up next to me and sat down so I wasn't alone. I sat there letting the inviting water surround me, calming my tense muscles.

"Better?" he questioned.

"Much. Thank you." I leaned over the tub silently asking for a kiss. He complied giving me a short sweet kiss. I frowned like a child.

"Why do you look so hurt?"

"That was it? A two second kiss for your future wife?"

"Well Miss. Porter, if I may lay the situation out for you to see clearly. You are in a tub wearing nothing but my engagement ring. You look absolutely gorgeous, and I fear that if I kissed you any longer I would be late for my shift; if you understand where I am headed."

"I see." I said slowly, trying to dissect what he was telling me, although it was as clear as the water I was sitting in.

"I love you. And if I could I would kiss you all day, among other things. But I really should be headed off to the bridge now." He leaned in and gave me one final kiss goodbye, before leaving the bathroom.

I laid in the warm water for only a little while longer, until I figured I was ready for bed. I got out, drained the tub and put on my night dress. I snuggled in under my sheets and quickly fell asleep to pleasant thoughts of Jamie.

X

I slept for only about two hours until I woke up. It felt different sleeping in bed without him. I didn't feel as relaxed. I may have only been sharing the same bed with him for the last three nights, but I simply couldn't remember how I felt sleeping alone. I decided that some fresh air might do me some good. I got up, wrapped my robe around me, and stepped out on to my private promenade. The sky was crystal clear, and I looked down towards the water. It didn't even look like it was moving. _How strange. _I leaned my head to the right to look into the doorway. The clock read 11:39. I needed to get to bed, and the freezing weather was making me too cold. How odd for mid-April.

As I turned to walk back in I felt a sudden shudder. _That was definitely not right. _I looked up to see the chandelier in my room vibrating; everything in my room was vibrating. Did we hit something? The shudder was gone as quick as it went. I ran back out onto the promenade to see if I could see anything, but the water was just as calm as it was a moment ago. I decided that if it was anything serious we would be alerted immediately. I walked back into my room and laid down trying to fall back asleep, but I simply couldn't.

I strained my ears to hear something, anything, but it was quiet. Too quiet. That's when I realized that there was always a constant noise that I heard. It was the engines that were always running, and releasing a small drone. But now I didn't hear anything, not even that familiar sound. That's when I realized the engines had stopped.


	9. Chapter Nine: Goodbye and Goodluck

I remained in my suite, pacing back and forth in the living area. Should I go and try to find Jamie? Should I stay here? I didn't know the answers to these questions, but I knew one answer for certain. The engines shouldn't have stopped. After a few more moments of tossing ideas around in my head, I decided that staying put was the safest option. If something serious would happen I'm sure Jamie would try to come and find me.

About thirty minutes after the initial shudder, there was a knock on my door. I ran to quickly open it hoping to see Jamie on the other side. When I opened the door there was a man in his thirties standing there in his White Star Line uniform. I was instantly disappointed.

"Excuse me Miss, but the captain has instructed everyone to put their life belts on, and head up to the deck."

"Is there something wrong?"

"Just taking precautionary measures Miss. And dress warmly, it's a bit cold out tonight." He said before turning and knocking on my neighbor's door.

I immediately ran to my bedroom, stripping off my night gown. I quickly pulled on my dress, leaving my corset behind; it was too much of a fuss, and if something was seriously wrong, it wasn't worth the extra time. I dug into the back of my closet searching for the heavy coat my aunt insisted I bring with me. I didn't think it would be necessary at the time, but now I was thankful.

Before running out of my room I grabbed my gloves and life jacket and headed straight for the deck. Hopefully I would see Jamie and he would let me know the seriousness of tonight's events. I walked straight towards the lifts, cramming myself into the already crowded space. I tried to tune out the idle chatter that was occurring around me, keeping my focus on one thing.

As the lifts opened I was greeted with an unwelcome burst of cold. It was extremely cold out. I wrapped my jacket around me, trying to conceal in as much warmth as possible. There were very few people on deck, I assume because of the cold, so most decided to wait inside where warm tea was being distributed. I on the other hand didn't mind the cold, because I had another mission in mind, and it wasn't to stay warm.

I walked towards the bridge looking for any man in uniform at this point. There was chaos everywhere; most of the men were trying to get the lifeboats ready. This really must not be good if they're going through all this trouble. I spotted a uniform, and ran up quickly, only to find it was Harry. At least it was a familiar face.

"Harry! Have you seen Jamie?" I said a bit breathless.

"Last I saw he was in the bridge with Lights, but that was about thirty minutes ago. He might be up here on deck somewhere. Try the other side of the ship." Harry pointed across from him. I gave him a small smile and shouted "thanks" as I headed off in that direction.

Another ten minutes of searching and I finally saw him about fifteen feet away.

"Jamie!" I shouted. Amongst all the noise, he actually heard me, and turned his head. He wasted no time rushing over towards me.

"Winnie what are you doing here? You should be on a lifeboat!"

"What's going on Jamie?" I said, ignoring his comment. If he thinks I'm getting off this ship without him than he has lost it.

"Winnie, all you need to know is that it's serious, and I need to know that you are safe in a lifeboat away from this ship."

"Jamie. Please what is going on?" I pushed further.

He grabbed me by my elbow and led me away from curious ears.

"The ship hit an iceberg. Titanic is sinking."

I covered my mouth in shock. I started shaking remembering what Jamie said about the lifeboats. There weren't enough, not even for half. I looked over his shoulder at the faces around me. Most of these people weren't going to live to see the sun rise. Involuntary tears started to pour down my cheeks.

"I need to know your safe. You must get on a lifeboat at once Winnie. Do you hear me?" he said grabbing me by the shoulders.

"Not without you."

"I don't want to argue about this. You must get on a lifeboat. I will feel a lot better knowing you're safe."

"And I will feel the same way knowing you are safe if you're in that lifeboat with me." I stated coming off a bit harsh.

"I can't do that Winnie. There is work to be done."

"Can't you man the lifeboat I get in? Please Jamie. I can't leave you, not when I just found you." The unwelcome tears kept rolling down my face. I was scared. Scared to die, scared to live. If I survived and Jamie didn't, I don't know what I would do. The thought of me not surviving this night was unwelcome, knowing the life I could live with him would be tarnished.

"Winnie, please. I am begging you to just get in a lifeboat." I looked up into his eyes, and saw one single tear roll down. Jamie was scared, which was making me even more of a wreck.

"But what if I lose you? What if I live and you don't?"

"Winnie, that won't happen. We have a wedding to prepare for, remember?" he said, trying his hardest to smile.

"Jamie…please." I couldn't say anymore. I was exhausted. I felt that no matter what I could say or do, he wouldn't listen. He wouldn't get on a lifeboat with me. Well if he won't go with me, than I will just have to go with him.

"Fine. If you won't go with me Jamie, than I am staying with you. I _refuse _to lose you. I already lost someone in my life that special to me, and I will not let it happen again." I didn't even realize I was shouting.

"Alright!" he sighed. I had finally won. "You can stay with me ONLY if you get in one later."

I had nothing left to say, so instead I jumped into his arms and held him close. I wish I could stay here in his arms forever, but things needed to be done, and lives needed to be saved. He gave me a quick kiss on my lips before taking my hand and leading me back to where I had come from.

X

We had spent the last forty or so minutes helping as many women and children into the lifeboats as possible. There were times where Jamie was asked to go help elsewhere, but he promised he would come right back, and he did. The ship was considerably unlevel. The entire front of the ship had succumbed to its icy grave. The band had been playing; trying to keep the passengers spirits light, when such a tragedy around them was occurring. Officer after officer kept being placed in boats, and I anxiously waited for when Jamie would catch the next one.

Harry and Charles were helping fill the next lifeboat when Charles shouted.

"One of you two man this boat."

"Go on Jamie, take this one."

"No Harry you go. I'll catch the next one." He looked at me. "There is one person we need to say goodbye and good luck to before we leave."

"Alright mate. Best of luck to you." Harry said before hopping into the lifeboat.

Jamie walked over to me, grabbed my elbow and led me indoors. We walked through the dining room and into the smoking room, where I saw Thomas standing, alone.

"Thomas! What are you doing? You must get to a lifeboat." I ran over to him

"Winnie! What are you still doing here? You should be far away from this place!"

"I wasn't leaving without Jamie." I said looking over to him, as he stood awkwardly by the door.

"My young dear Winnie. I'm sorry I didn't build you a stronger ship. This is all my fault." The man looked defeated.

"No Thomas! You can't think like that. This isn't your fault. Things happen, and you can't blame yourself for it."

"I should have pushed for more lifeboats. I didn't fight hard enough." Tears started to roll down his cheeks. This wasn't a side of Thomas I ever thought I would see. A man who always had a smile on his face, and kind words to share. I never expected to see him like this, and I knew that his heart was dying, just like Titanic.

"Please Thomas! Don't do this!"

"Winnie. It would be wrong of me to take a seat away from a woman or child. It's not right. I must go down-"

"Please don't say it! I don't want to hear you say those words!"

"But I'm afraid that's the way it is." He spoke trying to keep back his tears. He caressed my cheek lightly. "You will make a beautiful bride. You hold a very special place in my heart, and I want you to know that I will always be with you." He whispered, looking me in the eyes.

Tears continuously poured down my face. My chances of making it out of here alive were getting slimmer by the minute. Thomas wasn't going to come with me. He wanted to go down with his pride and joy; his creation. The thought of him remaining here made me sick.

"Winnie, you must go now. Before there are no more lifeboats left."

"I'll just give you two a moment to say goodbye." Jamie said before stepping out of the smoking room and back into the dining room.

"Thomas. You have become the father I never really had. I want to thank you for the last few days. I know they weren't much. I wish I had more time to get to know you better, but at least I had the few days with you that I did. I thank you for that."

"Oh Winnie, the pleasure has been all mine."

I looked up at him, tears streaming, and blurring my vision.

"I'm scared Thomas."

"I am too."

"I don't want to lose another father." Uncontrollable sobs erupted, and Thomas held me in his arms. The faint sounds of the band could be heard; _Nearer My God to Thee._

"Like I said my darling, I will always be with you in spirit. And who knows, someday we will meet again. Whether it's in heaven or in another life. I love you like you are one of my own, and I wish you the best."

I hugged him harder.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

"And I you. Now you must get going, there isn't much time left. I'll walk you out." I gave him one final hug, and he walked me to the door.

"Like I said Winnie, we will see each other again." I smiled at him.

"Goodbye Thomas."

"Goodbye Winnie."

I turned to walk out the dining room, but before leaving I turned my head once more. Thomas was gone. I would never see him again. I would never be greeted by his smiles, or his kind words. Thomas Andrews, the man that became the father I needed in my life, had retreated back to his grave.

X

Jamie and I ran through the ship trying to make it back out on deck. I used the back of my hand to remove the last of the tears on my face, trying to forget the Thomas I just saw, and trying to remember the Thomas I knew.

We made it back out on deck, and the cold hit me once more, making me instantly shiver. If the air was this cold, the water was freezing. If Jamie and I didn't find a boat, our chances of survival were minimal. Jamie ran up to Wilde.

"Henry! Are there any more boats?"

"I'm not sure! I just lowered the last one on this side. Check the other side of the ship."

Jamie wasted no time dragging me along through the crowds to the other side. The fear was setting in, that this may be the last hour I spend on earth. As we passed through the crowds Jamie approached Charles.

"Lights! Please tell me there is another lifeboat!"

"Afraid not Jamie. We got collapsible B here, were trying to get down, but I'm afraid she's all we have left.

"Shit!"

"Jamie it's going to be okay." I tried to remain as calm as possible, but the shakiness in my voice made it unconvincing. Jamie pushed his way through up to help Charles get the boat down. They were able to get it hooked up so it could be lowered in. By that point there was really no need, the water had risen so much. It seemed that the sinking was picking up speed, or time was just flying. Either or, I knew that we were testing fate.

There was suddenly a loud snap, and the cables supporting the smoke stacks, broke off, flying into the water. The stacks started to rock, until one completely fell on the opposite side we were on. You could hear the deadly screams coming from the other side of the ship, followed by the stack making contact with the water. I closed my eyes hoping it was all just a dream, and it would disappear. But the screams and whistles wouldn't go away. This time I wasn't dreaming. This was reality, and my life was in the hands of Jamie.

There was sudden chaos, many people, mostly men, trying to get a spot on the boat. I was pushed and pulled out of the way, until I couldn't see Jamie anymore. I kept screaming his name hoping he would come and get me. But the noise was too loud, and there was no chance.

The water had just started to touch my feet, and it was so cold. It felt like I was being stabbed, and the thought of this surrounding my entire body made me even more fearful. Instincts started to kick in, and if I wasn't going to find a spot on this boat, I was going to get a spot in another boat. Jamie was an officer, and his authority would surely get him a seat on the boat with Charles. It was just a matter of time for him to come and find me.

I wrapped my coat around me tighter and took the small jump into the water. At first I was paralyzed, I couldn't even breathe it was so cold. Finally the lifebelt did its job and made me surface. I looked back to see the boat, and it had capsized.

"Winnie!"

I looked up to see Jamie standing on the edge of Titanic looking down at me. He looked in the direction of the boat than looked at me. Suddenly he jumped in causing a splash around me. He emerged seconds later, his teeth chattering.

"Wha-what are you do-doing?" he stuttered trying to catch his breath.

"I was g-going to f-find another b-b-boat." My teeth rattled so hard I thought they were going to fall out.

"Well w-we need to s-swim away. F-find something t-to float on u-until help comes." He grabbed my hand and started to swim away from Titanic.

As we were paddling away I heard a loud groan followed by a crack. I whipped my head around to see what had happened. Titanic had split in two. The front half had fully sunken into the water, and the back half of the ship fell back flat into the Atlantic. _Thomas. Stop it Winnie. _I scolded myself. I needed to focus on the situation at hand. I could mourn later. The back half of Titanic started to rise again until it was standing completely vertical. All the while Jamie kept pulling me along as far away from the ship as he could.

He suddenly found two pieces of debris from the ship floating near each other. I grabbed onto one as he did the other. It held the top portion of our body, but our legs down remained submerged in the black icy water.

I watched on as the Titanic started to descend into the water. There was screaming and crying from all around, and it was tough to look at and listen to. Meanwhile I'm trying to regain some semblance of what was happening. I looked up to where Titanic was quickly plunging into the water, watching it. It was quick, too quick. Within minutes Titanic had succumbed to its resting place.


	10. Chapter Ten: My Promise to You

Numbness had taken over my entire body, mostly my legs. The Titanic sunk thirty minutes ago. Thomas and many others had already perished, and every minute that passed, it started to get quieter. There weren't any lifeboats around, and I felt like none were going to come back. I guess out of fear that they would be attacked by those in the water, and they too would we be where we are now.

Jamie looked at me, taking my hand in his.

"I-It's s-so c-cold." I whispered. My voice was so hoarse.

"T-the b-boats. T-they will c-come back." Jamie's voice was equally as hoarse as mine. These were the first words exchanged since Titanic had foundered.

"I-I h-hope s-so."

It was quiet again. I had a hard time focusing my thoughts. The coldness was all I could think about. I couldn't even move my legs, they were so stiff. Frost was coating the ends of my hair, and hands had turned blue. The weight of my coat was becoming tough on my shoulders, but thanks to the lifebelt, I remained buoyant.

"W-W-Winnie."

I looked into the eyes of my love. There was nothing but fear.

"I-I d-don't k-know how much l-longer. I-I'm s-so cold."

"D-don't l-leave me!" I tried to scream and sound angry, but it only sounded like a plea.

"I-I-I p-promise you. I-I will f-f-find you a-again. W-whether I have t-to search for y-you in heaven or in a-another l-life. I-I know that s-sounds crazy, b-but anything seems possible n-now."

"You p-promise?"

"As l-long as you promise m-me that you will f-fight to live."

"Why w-wont you fight?" tears started to well up in my eyes. I was struggling to live right now, I was fighting, because I wanted a future with him. It felt like he wasn't fighting as hard. He was ready to give up.

"I-I am fighting W-Winnie."

I looked away, as tears started to roll down my face. I was scared. I was scared that Jamie would give up too soon, and I would be left alone. This wasn't fair. Nothing about this was fair.

"I love you Winnie. Y-you mean the w-world to me."

"I love you too."

"Miss. Porter I w-will find you again." He kissed my hand. I could feel his mouth shaking on my hand from the cold.

It was quiet again. I didn't know what to say. Again I could only focus on how cold I was. There was barely any noise around us by this point. Many people had succumbed to the coldness. I just hoped that a boat would come by soon.

"Jamie?"

"Hmm?"

"Promise me you will f-fight. Fight for m-me."

Jamie took a deep breath, and spoke with determination.

"Winnie. I am fighting. I want to be with you so badly. I want to marry you, have babies with you, and grow old with you." He started to tear up. "But it is so cold, and I will fight as hard as I have to, to stay alive. Just promise me that you will continue to fight. Don't give up on me. Not yet. You are a strong b-beautiful woman. You can do this." Tears were now rolling down his face. He reached out and caressed my cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, and I will try."

"Good."

He took a deep breath again, and rested his head on his hands. We just looked at each other for a few moments. His once beautiful brown eyes looked like they were dying. He was losing his light, and I knew I was too.

X

It had to have been another thirty minutes that passed; or at least that's what it felt like. My perception of time was off. All I could do was look out to sea. There were no more screams that could be heard. It was quiet. I looked over at Jamie, whose head was still on his hands, but his eyes were closed.

"Jamie?"

He didn't move, or make a sound.

"Jamie?" I shook his arm. He still didn't move. Tears started to pour down my face.

"JAMIE!" I tried with more authority. But still, there was no response.

Jamie had left me. He left me alone in the middle of the North-Atlantic. My fiancé was gone. I had already lost Thomas, and now Jamie. I took his hand and kissed it.

"I love you so much Jamie. You better keep your promise. You better find me again." My voice was hoarse and thick. I couldn't bear to let him go, but I couldn't stand looking at him. He was physically the man I loved, but he wasn't there anymore. He was in heaven with Thomas and they were looking down on me.

I looked around for any sight of a boat, but still I saw nothing. I didn't know how much longer I would last. Maybe I would be better if I let the coldness take me, just like it took my love. I held onto his hand and just laid there on that piece of wood. I looked up at the stars as they twinkled brightly above. There was a shooting star that flew over head.

"_Whenever you see a shooting star, it means a soul is going to heaven." _My aunt's words rung in my ears.

"I love you Jamie. I will see you soon."

The shooting star was the last thing I saw, before I shut my eyes forever.

X

Harry's POV

It had taken long enough to get the women and children from my boat into another. I needed to go back. I needed to rescue passengers. It was getting quieter and quieter by the second, and I knew that I was running out of time.

Eventually I had set sail back to where the Titanic had died. There were many people floating in the water, frozen and dead. It was eerie, and I couldn't shake the feeling of sickness.

"Is there anyone alive out there? Can anyone hear me?" I shouted. I heard nothing. I had to keep going, there had to be at least one person left out there.

Panic started to set in, that my efforts would be useless, that not a soul in the water would still be alive. But I had to keep going.

"Watch your oars! Don't hit them!"

"These are all dead sir!"

"Well keep checking them! Keep looking!" I was on a mission. I was determined.

X

We had been rowing for quite some time, and we had saved six people so far. Six! That was all that we could find. Out of all the people that were floating in this ocean, there were only six people that were saved.

I moved my flashlight around and noticed two people floating far away from the rest of the passengers. They were floating on something so I directed my men to row that way. There was a chance they could still be alive.

As we got closer I noticed a uniform, a White Star Line uniform.

"No!" I whispered to myself.

My fears were confirmed when we got close enough to see who it was, Jamie and Winnie. They were lying there on debris, holding each other's hands.

"Jamie! Winnie!" I shouted, but neither responded.

"Jamie! Winnie!" I shouted again, tears pricking at my eyes. They were still unresponsive.

"We were too late." As tears started to spill over my eyes.

"Are you alright officer?"

I whipped my head around looking at the man who questioned me. It was a passenger who was wrapped up in three blankets. I ignored his question, and turned back to look at them.

"I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I tried. I really did. May your souls rest in heaven together. And may God be with you both. I will see you both again someday." I whispered.

I directed my men away from the area of my two deceased friends. I couldn't bear to look at them anymore. I continued to look for more people in the water, but my focus was lost. I just couldn't believe that Jamie and Winnie were gone.


	11. Chapter Eleven: April 9th 2012

I had just settled into my new home. I couldn't believe that I was leaving everything I knew to start a new life with a woman I didn't necessarily agree with. My mother.

My mom and dad divorced when I nine years old and she quickly left with her new boyfriend. She said "parenting just wasn't for her right now", so she picked up her belongings and left for New York. I had no choice but to stay with my father. Over the years our relationship grew, and he became a very important man in my life. My mother and I kept in touch, she would send cards on my birthdays, and call on the holidays, but I haven't seen her since she left. I lived in California, Santa Barbra to be exact, and it wasn't exactly next door to New York.

About a year ago, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I knew that the time we had left was both short and precious, so I made everyday count. About a month ago, he fell victim to his disease, and passed away. I didn't know how I was going to go on; he had been everything I knew. When my mother found out, she immediately held out a hand, and offered up a place to stay. Seeing as I had no other relatives around, I decided that it was probably best. I dropped out of my current college, and had my credits transferred to the community college fifteen minutes from my mother's house. I packed up everything I knew and flew out to New York.

When my mother picked me up from the airport, it was an _interesting_ meeting, for lack of a better term. "Oh I didn't recognize you!" and "you're so grown up, where did the time go?" blah blah blah. I was nineteen years old. It had been ten years since I had seen here.

And now here I was, in my new room, in a strange city, and I knew not one person. College should be interesting.

"Winnie!" my mother gently knocked on my door.

"Yeah?"

She poked her head in the door, "Mind if I come in?"

"Nope." I spoke monotone. I gestured for her to come in and take a seat on my bed. I wasn't exactly thrilled to be in the presence of a woman who suddenly wanted to be part of my life again.

"Look honey. I know this last month has been very difficult on you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, and so is Blake."

"Thanks…mom." I said slowly. It felt weird calling her that. She wasn't a mother, so she didn't exactly deserve the title.

"Michael…I mean your father, he was a very special man. I know things didn't exactly work out between us, but that was all my fault. And I truly-"

"Stop, I don't want to hear it."

"But Winnie."

"No Lynn. I don't want to hear it."

"Lynn? I am your mother. All I am trying to do is help."

"This is what you try to help me with? What about all the papers I had to write for school? All the tests I had to study for? How about when I was in the hospital with mono? When my first boyfriend and I broke up? You were never there for me! Not once! You never came to see any of my shows or games, nothing. I don't wanna hear some bull shit story about why you left me. _You _left me! You may have given birth to me, but you are _no _mother!"

She just looked at me as if I slapped her in the face.

"I understand your frustration-"

"Frustration? You think I'm frustrated?"

"Well…yes."

"My father just died. You know…the man who raised me, who stayed with me when I was sick. Who settled my nerves the first day of high school. Who was there for my graduation. The man who dropped me off for my first day at college. I left _everything _I knew behind. Everything! And for what? To come into a house I don't know. To stay with a woman I haven't seen since I was nine? If that's what you call frustrated…than yes. I'm frustrated."

"Please Winnie. I just want to try and help. I know I messed up."

"Ha!"

"Will you just listen to me? I know I messed up. I am not proud of the choice I made. But you need to realize I had a lot of problems going on. I had to figure out myself, and raise myself before I could raise a child. I didn't know what I was doing. I know I wasn't there for you back then, but I want to be there for you now. Will you just give me the chance?"

I didn't know what to say. I was so angry and confused. I wanted to make amends with my mom, really I did. I just didn't know how. I didn't want to let her off easy, but I didn't want to keep fighting. It felt like a no win situation. I inhaled deeply trying to calm myself before speaking.

"Look…_mom. _You have ten years to make up for. Ten years of life. I'm not saying I forgive you just yet, but I am willing to try and form some semblance of a relationship."

"That's all I ask for."

I exhaled, not realizing I had been holding my breath. This was going to be difficult. I laid down on my bed thoroughly spent. My mom ran her hand through my hair.

"I just can't believe how much you look like me when I was your age."

I turned my gaze to look at her.

"I had long wavy brown hair and big brown eyes just like you. You look just like me kid. Face it."

A small smile played at my lips.

"I'm gonna let you rest. Dinner should be ready in an hour."

"Okay." I turned on my side facing the window looking out into the busy streets.

"Winnie?"

"Hmm." I didn't turn over.

"I love you." My mom said before gently shutting my door.

X

Dinner was sufficiently awkward. The conversation was short and silence filled the air. The tension in the room was high.

"So, are you excited for school tomorrow?" Troy, my _"step-father" _asked.

"It's school. Would you be excited?"

"Well, I mean you're starting off at a new place, make new friends."

"It's college. It's a place where I go to learn and study, so I can get a degree and a job. Not socialize."

"Oh come on now Winnie. You need to make friends."

"I have friends."

"Friends here I mean."

"Lynn…I mean mom. Look. I just. I don't know. It's gonna be a hellish day tomorrow. Let me just focus on one thing at a time please."

"Okay." And that was that. Conversation was over. I quickly finished up my spaghetti and excused myself from the table. I stopped in the kitchen to place my dishes in the sink, and went up to my room. I needed to be alone, away from my mother.

I decided to take get ready for bed. If tomorrow was going to be as exhausting as I thought than I needed as much rest as possible.

I walked into my private bathroom, _thank God, _and turned on the shower. I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the welcoming steam. I was instantly relaxed, and my stress of today melted. Once I was finished I turned off the faucet, and wrapped a towel around me. I walked back into my room to my closet, which had all of my belongings stored away. I decided on a dark pair of skinny jeans, a white short sleeve shirt, and aqua sandals would do just fine. It was simple, just like me. I placed my clothes on my vanity chair, and quickly changed into my pajamas. I was tired and I needed sleep.

I crawled into my awaiting sheets and drifted, thinking about today and how tomorrow would be.

X

I awoke the next day at nine a.m. Classes didn't start until 10:45, so this gave me plenty of time to get ready. I sat down at my vanity, and looked at myself in the mirror. I felt like I should look different, I felt like I had aged, with everything I had been through. But I still looked the same. Bright brown eyes, and a wavy mess of hair. I knew I shouldn't have slept with wet hair.

I played around with my hair until it lay just right. I put a headband in, to keep my bangs out of my face. My hair fell down to my mid-back, in long wavy beach curls, as the girl back in Cali liked to call them. I applied eyeliner and mascara to my eyes before standing to get dressed. After I was done, I grabbed my black shoulder bag off my desk.

"Phone, keys, pen, notebook, and schedule." I spoke as I rummaged through my bag. I looked in the mirror. This was it. A new day at a new school. _Great. _

I walked down stairs, my mother and Troy sitting at the table reading the newspaper and eating breakfast.

"Won't you have something before you go?"

"I'm fine, I'm gonna be late anyways."

"Oh honey come on now. Its 10:15, you'll be fine."

"Fine." I sat down and grabbed a banana from the bowl in the middle of the table. I peeled it open and took a bite. It somewhat calmed my nerves.

"Excited?"

"Sure mom." I said unenthusiastically.

"Oh sure you are. The classes will be exciting…what's your major again?"

"Undecided."

"Oh well honey I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"Oh yeah."

"Well I bet there are so many good looking guys on campus. Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No mom."

"Well are you…a…ya know?"

"I gotta go." I stood quickly before walking out of the dining room.

"Enjoy your first day!" my mother shouted to me. I ignored it, and stormed out of the house. Jeez did my mother have no sense privacy? I walked around the block to the starbucks. I needed coffee.

X

I walked onto campus looking around. It was huge for a community college. I walked around, everyone was talking and laughing. I felt so out of place. I was in the middle of Manhattan with the elite. I was of no such thing. I grew up in Santa Barbra, where everyone was of the same social class. Here…not so much. I was looking up and down, from my schedule to the buildings. CM Building, that's what I needed to find.

I finally found the building and after circling it three times I found my classroom. History 112: 1900s. Fantastic. I sucked at history. I walked into the class and only a few people were seated. It was a big classroom, it must of seated at least 100 people. I walked down to the front where the professor was writing something on the board.

"Um excuse me Professor.-"

"Andrews." He turned to smile at me. He looked somewhat familiar but I couldn't place him. He had kind brown eyes, and dark brown hair, but the sides were graying a bit.

"You must be Miss. Winifred Port." He looked down at his roster than back up to me.

"Yes. But please call me Winnie. The only time I'm ever called Winifred is if I'm in trouble."

"Alright." He stifled a chuckle. "Winnie it is then. Well today we are just reviewing for a test on Wednesday, but don't worry about it. I understand you came here under certain circumstances." I looked down. Suddenly there was loud laughter coming from the back of the room.

"Harry you are such a dumbass!"

"I'm a dumbass? Look at you Charlie! How old are you and you're still in community college!"

"I am not that-"

"Gentlemen please!"

"Mr. Andrews! Glad to see you're back! We missed ya man."

"Well I'm glad to be back." He smiled a genuine looking smile.

"We still got that test on Wednesday?"

"Yes Harold."

"Shit."

The two boys took a seat right in front and continued their talking. Mr. Andrews turned back to face me.

"I do apologize for the interruption."

"No problem." I smiled at him.

"As I was saying just please sit back and relax. Just get a feel for what is expected of you in this class." He reached in his bag and pulled out some papers. "Here is the course description, and also here is the assignment sheet. It gives you a list of all the assignments that need to be handed in, and the date they are due."

"Thank you."

"You're going to need a text book, notebook, and pen, and you need to bring that with you to every class."

"Easy enough"

"Any ques-"

"Andrews!"

"Could I be any more popular?" he whispered to me laughing. He held up one finger to me indicating for me to hold on.

"Mr. Moore!"

The guy that called out Mr. Andrews name walked down to where he and I were standing and embraced him in a hug.

"I've missed ya Andrews."

"Yes well, I missed you too." He patted him on the back.

"Oh Winnie, this is Jamie Moore."

"Hi." I shook his outstretched hand. "Winnie Port."

"Jamie is one of my hardest working students-"

"Suck up!"

"Yo Charlie, maybe if you tried sucking up, you would be outta here by now."

"Yo Jamie, maybe if you unlatched yourself from Andrews' ass you would spend more time with us."

"Ignore them. The three of them just like to rattle each other. It's the weirdest friendship I've ever seen."

"Seems like it."

"Well we can finish this conversation after class. Please, take a seat anywhere you like." He gestured his arm out to the spacious room.

I took a seat towards the front away from the three boys who were still arguing.

Mr. Andrews started up the lecture and the three of them finally fell silent. I would write down some notes, but I mostly just doodled in my notebook. He was reviewing the Mona Lisa being stolen. I looked to my left to see Jamie looking at me. I gave him a small smile and quickly buried my face in my notebook.

"That's all for today class. Make sure you study for the test on Wednesday. If you have any questions please email me."

The class got up and packed away their belongings.

"Miss. Port." He motioned me over with a smile. I stuffed my notebook in my bag and walked up to the front to his desk.

"Yo Jamie you coming?" I could hear someone shout to him.

"I'll catch up with you later man." I suddenly felt a presence behind me.

"Yes Mr. Moore. What can I do for you?" Mr. Andrews asked Jamie.

"No please. Finish up."

"Well Miss. Port. Here is my contact information, and if you have any questions please email me. Just follow the assignment list, and you should be good."

"Thank you Mr. Andrews."

"Not a problem my dear." He turned his head towards Jamie. "Yes Mr. Moore?"

"I'm not here for you Andrews."

"Well I'm flattered."

"You'll always be my number one."

"And you'll always be my number two." They joked to each other.

"See ya Wednesday."

"See ya Winnie. Try to enjoy your classes."

"I'll try."

"I turned to walk out of the classroom."

"Hey wait up."

I turned to see Jamie running towards me.

"Yes?"

"What time's your next class?"

"Umm…" I looked down to my schedule in hand. "1:20"

"You got plenty of time."He said taking a quick glance at his watch. "Do you wanna go get some coffee or something?"

"Uh. Sure?"

I was somewhat confused. What did this guy want from me? I looked up at him; he was considerably taller than me. He had brown eyes that were as kind and Mr. Andrews. He had brown hair as well. He was very good looking. There was something familiar about his as well, but again, I just couldn't place where I would know him from. I had never been to New York before yesterday.

I walked through the doorway, and out into the hallway. I slipped on a piece of paper, and almost landed on the ground. Instead my bag wad the only thing to fall spilling its contents everywhere.

"I'm such a klutz" I spoke mostly to myself.

Jamie bent down to help me pick up my mess. Our hands gently touched one another and I felt a shock. He quickly pulled back his hand and looked at me. I looked up at him. An image flashed in my mind. It was of water. _Weird. _

We walked off, Jamie walking a little ahead, leading me to the center of campus. I looked at his back and the way he moved. So graceful, yet he had purpose in his step. I didn't know who this Jamie character was, or what we wanted with me. But his familiar looks and kind eyes made me intrigued to get to know him better.


	12. Chapter Twelve: A Tool and A Tour

Jamie and I sat down in the center court, opposite each other. It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining and the weather was warm. The sun great felt on my skin, and helped relaxed my building nerves. We sat there quiet just looking around and at each other; that is until Jamie broke the silence.

"So Winnie, I take it you're a transfer?"

"Is it that obvious?"

He let out a small chuckle. "Yeah kinda. So what brought you to this college?"

"I just moved here from California."

"Big change. How are you holding up so far?"

"Good I guess." I looked up at him. I had been starring at my coffee the entire time. Why did I feel so nervous around this guy?

"So why did you move here?"

"Jeez. Are you writing a book?" I looked up from my coffee.

"Call it intrigued."

I let out a big sigh, not sure if I should unload all of my problems on this guy I knew for five minutes. I decided that maybe venting to someone who wasn't my mother may do my head some good.

"Well my parents divorced when I was nine and my mom left. About a year ago my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and he died a month ago. I dropped out of college there and came here to live with my mother. She's the only "family" I have left."

I looked up from my coffee again to see Jamie intently starring at me.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"It's okay. I don't need sympathy."

"Yeah well-"

"So why are you here?" I cut him off. I didn't want to talk about me anymore. I was finally adjusting to life here and I didn't need someone prodding at my new found acceptance.

"I'm studying to be an officer."

"As in the police?"

"Yes."

"Well that's noble of you."

"I guess you could say that."

"And you live with your parents?"

"No. Actually. I live with roommates."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah Charlie and Harry."

"Did I hear my name?" someone called from behind me. I turned around to see the two guys from history that sat with Jamie headed our way.

"Hey guys." Jamie waved them over. "This is Winnie. She's new." He gestured towards me.

"Thanks" I whispered to him

"No problem." He whispered back

Hey what's up?" the tall one asked. He had dark brown hair and eyes to match. He was actually kind of cute. "The names Harry." He held out his hand for me to shake.

"Hi." Was all I could muster. Next to Harry stood and equally as tall buzzed cut man with bright blue eyes.

"Charlie." He held out his hand and I shook it. His grip was firm, too firm for me. He was intimidating to say the least.

"Nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

"So Jamie what ya doing? You said you were gonna meet up with us."

"Sorry Harry. I bumped into Winnie on the way out of class, after talking to Andrews. Offered up a cup of coffee, ya know."

"Always the charming one." Harry shot back.

"I can't believe Andrews is back so soon!" Charlie spoke out.

"I know. I figured he would have been gone for at least a few more weeks, if not more."

"What are you talking about?" they all looked towards me.

"Mr. Andrews' ex wife passed away. Tragically I might add. His little girl was staying with her. He went out for the funeral and to get her and bring her back with him." Jamie spoke. His voice dropped down a few octaves.

"How sad." I didn't know really how to react. I hardly knew the man.

"Yeah it is. Such a nice guy. I've taken one of his classes each semester."

"Cause Jamie's a kiss ass."

"Shut up man."

"No it's true. Andrews and Jamie have a bromance going on. It's really starting to interfere with our…our triple bromance."

"First off that's not true. And second, that wasn't grammatically correct Charlie."

"Dude. No wonder you're still at a community college and how old?"

"Harry! I am not that old!"

"Whatever man."

I had a sudden déjà vu. I remembered this conversation. I started to zone out, trying to place where I might remember this from.

"Winnie? Winnie?"

"What? Sorry."

Jamie let out a small laugh.

"It's alright.

I listened as the guys carried on their conversation. I happened to glance down at my phone when I noticed a missed call. I opened my phone and saw it was from Corey. _Shit. _Corey is my ex I guess you could call him. We never officially broke up, but I made it clear that I never intended to carry out a long distance relationship. Nor did I want to carry out a verbally abusive one for that matter. I just figured that with us being on different sides of the country we would both forget about each other and move on. I decided I would ignore it, until my phone started to ring again.

"Maybe you should answer it." I glanced up from my phone to see all three boys looking at me. I held up my finger and hit answer on my phone.

"Hello?"

"Winnie! What the fuck! I've been so worried about you. Why the hell haven't you called me?"

"Because I made it clear to you that I didn't want to talk to you!"

"What?! What are you talking about?"

"Corey. I told you I. Am. Done." I carried out each word.

"You ungrateful bitch!"

"How am I an ungrateful bitch?" I shouted back into the phone. Everyone was staring at me now. Fantastic.

"I was there for you when your dad croaked, and now you leave and say we're done?"

"Are you serious?" my voice dropped down to a whisper as tears pricked at my eyes. How could he talk so carelessly about my dad?

"Goodbye Corey." And I shut my phone as one single tear rolled down my cheek.

"I'll catch you later man." Charlie whispered to Jamie. Both Harry and Charlie walked back from the way they came. Jamie reached out and lifted my chin. I felt a sudden shock again, and another pang of déjà vu.

"Hey. You alright?"

"Yeah. Thanks." I looked down at my phone again and noticed it was already 1:10. Shit I had to get to class.

"Common. I'll walk you to your class." Jamie said in a soothing voice, reading my thoughts.

X

After class let out I started walking towards the exit of campus. It had been a rough day, what with new faces, friends, and Corey's unnecessary phone call. It seriously had put a hole in my day. I wanted nothing more than to get home, and boy I never thought I would say that.

I had just made it to the end of campus when Jamie caught my arm.

"Hey stranger. How was your class."

"Enticing." I mocked fake enthusiasm.

"Oh I bet. What was it?"

"Math"

"Oh yeah. A truly riveting experience."

I smiled my first genuine smile since I had arrived here. It felt good.

"So where are ya headed?" Jamie questioned.

"Home."

"Oh. You're not going out with all the friends you made today."

I bumped his shoulder.

"Ha-Ha! Very funny."

"What?"

"Don't be coy."

"No seriously. You're gonna go home? You're in New York City, and that's where you're gonna go?"

"Yeah." Was this a trick question?

"Common I'll give you a tour." He started to pull on my arm.

"Not today! I really just want to get home. But I'll take a rain check." I smiled at him.

"Oh alright. Want me to walk you home?"

"Sure."

We walked in silence the entire way. But it was a nice and peaceful silence, not awkward at all.

"Well here we are." I turned to face him when we arrived at my building.

"Well it was nice meeting you today." Jamie smiled.

"You too. Thanks." I turned to walk up the steps.

"Hey. Do you have classes tomorrow?"

"Umm…" I pulled out my schedule. "No. Wednesday and Friday."

"Okay." He smiled and turned to walk down the street. Weird.

X

When I got home yesterday I took a shower and quickly changed. I went downstairs, ate dinner and went back up into my room. I wasn't much for holding conversations in general, let alone with my mother. I snuggled under my sheets relatively early and opened a new book. I didn't fall asleep until I finished it. It ended up being 3:00 AM, before I finally fell asleep.

I awoke the next morning to hearing the doorbell go off. I turned over throwing the pillows over my head to try and block out the noise. I heard footsteps on the stairs followed by a light knock on the door. I didn't say anything in hopes that whoever it was would know I am not in the mood and would go away.

"Winnie?" Obviously not.

"What?" I turned back over and opened one eye to see Jamie standing in my door way.

"What in the hell…"

"I am holding you to that rain check. I just didn't think you would be asleep still. Sorry."

"What time is it?"

"It's 10:33"

"It's 7:33."

"I said ten not seven."

"It's seven my time. California, remember." I mumbled still covered in my blankets.

"Oh. Shit. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. It's fine. I'll get up." I threw the blankets off of me and padded into the adjoining bathroom. I walked back out moments later with my hair and teeth brushed, and the contents of yesterdays makeup removed from under my still sleepy eyes. I walked over the closet.

"What's it like outside."

"It's nice."

I returned my focus to the closet and pulled out a pair of jean capris a light pink short sleeved shirt and a baby blue blazer. I walked back into the bathroom and quickly got changed. I emerged five minutes later to find Jamie sitting on my bed.

"Comfy." He smiled at me. I just shook my head, taking a seat at my vanity and sliding on my Sperry's. I turned and looked at my reflection. My eyes were wide and bright, and my hair fell down nicely. For once, it decided to cooperate.

"Ready?"

"Yes ma'am."

We walked down the stairs to find my mother and Troy sitting at the dining table eating breakfast. I tried to sneak past them, trying to avoid any conversation with my mother. I knew she would have something to say about-

"Oh honey!" _shit._

"Yeah." I let out an annoyed groan. She got up from her seat and walked towards me.

"You didn't tell me you made a friend yesterday." Her eyes went from me to Jamie.

"I wasn't in much of a talking mood yesterday."

"Ahh well. So what are you kids up to."

"Umm…"

"I'm giving Winnie a tour of the city." Jamie cut me off.

"Oh how sweet. Here honey." My mom placed something in my blazer pocket. "Don't spend it all in one place." She smiled a sickly sweet smile at me and walked back to the table.

We walked out of the house quickly and down the street towards the starbucks.

"I need coffee."

"I can tell." He let out a small laugh.

I just rolled my eyes and pulled open the door to heaven. The smell of coffee greeted my nose, and it was oh so welcoming. I got up to the register and placed my order.

"That will be 2.28." the man said with a smile.

I reached into my pocket to grab the money my mother gave me, and pulled out five one hundred dollar bills.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I was appalled. Where did my mother get off on giving me half a grand?

I dug into my purse and pulled out three one dollar bills and handed it to the man. He gave me my change which I tossed into the tip jar, took my coffee and exited the building. I had half a mind to go back home and throw the money back in my mother's face.

"What's wrong?" Jamie said catching up to me. I had forgotten he was with me.

"My mother." I said through gritted teeth.

"What happened?"

I didn't say anything I just pulled the money out of my pocket and showed him.

"Holy…" Jamie was lost for words. "Put that back in your pocket. You wanna get robbed? You're in New York." I shoved the money back in my pocket quickly.

"I don't know who she thinks she is. Just because she has some money, does she feel the need to flaunt it? You know I never saw a dime of child support and neither did my dad when I was growing up. And now she thinks she can just hand me "play money" like this? Is she crazy?"

I was hysterical. I really lost my cool this time. I was just so mad.

"Alright. Calm down." Jamie tried to calm me. "I know what will cheer you up."

"What?" I wasn't in the mood to explore anymore.

"Let me show you the magic of New York." And with that he took me by the arm and we walked up 7th avenue towards the wonders the city had to offer.


End file.
